In modern day America, coffee beans reign supreme. It's a fact that simply cannot be ignored. Coffee devours our paychecks, consumes our every thought, causes us to be late for work due to untimely coffee runs, ruins white tee's, and makes the morning shift slightly more tolerable. It sometimes makes appearances on our Snapchat stories, leads the more adventurous of us to believe we're semi-professional baristas with our failed cappuccino art, and makes even the most awkward of first dates a bearable affair (sip, twirl bangs, advert eyes, sip, cue fake laugh). We love coffee, and why shouldn't we? It's there for us on the mornings preceding impromptu "Grey's" marathons, and on the nights spent hunched over a computer screen fruitlessly trying to conjure up the words to the five-page essay we put off. It may resuscitate us during those moments we're convinced death is swiftly impending, but it will not save our lives.
And while a miracle drug for immortality has yet to be discovered, tea comes pretty freaking close. So yeah, coffee's kind of great, but it's the beverage we text at 2 a.m. when we're feeling lonely, not the thing we bring home to Thanksgiving dinner. Coffee may be our occasional pick-me-up, but tea is in it for the long haul. And the cool thing about tea is, its versatility and diversity leaves you with an endless string of potential lovers. Maybe you're not an earl grey kind of girl, but that's OK. Maybe oolong has the depth you've always been searching for. Trust me, there is a tea out there for everyone, which is awesome because you definitely wouldn't want to miss out on all the love this yummy beverage has to offer.
Here are five reasons why you should seriously end your love affair with coffee and instead fall in love with tea.
1. Anti-freaking-oxidants. Enough said.
In short, antioxidants helps to prevent the oxidation of molecules in our body. Translation: antioxidants help slow down the aging process, leaving tea-drinkers with the youthful glow coffee-drinkers may have had at 16. And while retaining your youth may be of little to no concern to you now while you're 20, I can almost guarantee you'll be wishing you'd dedicated your life to pumping your system full of antioxidants when your skin looks like a balding tire at 40. Seriously, let's just skip the "Wow, you're really only 45?" conversation now, and just drink tea. Nobody wants to be asked why they're not receiving social security benefits on their 30th birthday. Coffee doesn't care if you look like you're stuck in a 98-year-old's body.
2. Tea prevents cancer. Worries begone.
For many of us, cancer is a nightmare we cannot quite shake. And for my fellow WebMD junkies, it's practically the cause of our every headache and bellyache. It terrifies us because we're so powerless to its sudden domination-- we're so completely and utterly at its unforgiving mercy. Or are we? Science says otherwise. Along with an increased intake of fruits and vegetables, one can prevent their chances of obtaining cancer by drinking tea (particularly green tea). Green tea is scientifically linked to fighting off free radicals that damage cells, and can even repair sun damaged skin. But that's not all, green tea can also suppress tumor growth, prevent breast and prostate cancer, and even help treat prostate cancer. You have to admit, that's pretty damn cool.
3. *This one's for you, caffeine-addicts.* Replacing your morning cup of Joe for a steaming cup of herbal tea is not going to turn you into a caffeine-deprived zombie, because ~drum roll please~ tea has caffeine too.
Will tea turn you into a human-sized ball of overwound stress? No, but if a hefty dose of relaxation is what you crave, tea has your back. Will tea make you a crazed jitterbug whose hands are too shaky to function properly? Nope. Will tea upset your stomach when you've had a sip too many? Probably not, in fact, tea is known to soothe the digestive system and calm nausea (notably ginger tea). So if being over-caffeinated in all its brute glory is what you crave, coffee is for you, but if you crave a manageable amount of caffeine, tea is the answer. So go ahead, drink another cup of tea, and kiss afternoon jitters goodbye.
4. Tea is a smile's best friend.
While the acidity in coffee erodes away at tooth enamel, and leads to irreversible tooth decay and discoloration, tea decreases tooth loss and cavities. Tea alters the mouth's pH balance when drinking it, leading to a notable prevention in cavities. So while coffee leaves one's pearly whites looking neither pearly nor white, tea leaves its drinkers looking like they just walked off the set of a Colgate commercial. You may think coffee loves you, but if it loved you, why would it make it appear as if your mouth is really composed of 32 really big corn kernels. That's not love; that's betrayal in the most sinister sense. So if you love your teeth, let tea take care of them.
5. Put away the fad diet and the nasty juice cleanses, and grab a cup of tea instead.
A wide variety of teas have been known to help in weight loss, so whether you're merely trying to suppress your midnight cravings, or if you want to get right down to it and burn fat, tea is here to save the day once more. Green and oolong tea will boost your metabolism, mint tea will subdue hunger, white tea will prevent fat cells from forming, and rooibos tea can reduce stress hormones which lead to excessive hunger. And to top it off, tea (untampered and unadulterated) is inherently calorie free. For those of us (me) who want to be bikini ready without the help of a treadmill and tennis shoes, this simple solution to weight loss is blissfully ideal. Who thought something so yummy could also help you fit into those pair of jeans?
Now try to let coffee down easy when you tell him you've met someone new, and don't you dare tell him: "It's not you, it's me," because it's completely 100 percent all him. Or completely crush his heart by telling him how much better off you are with your new man. I don't care how you do it, just please kick his ass to the curb already.