It all started last week, when I was at the Starbucks on campus, sipping a Peppermint Mocha Late from one of the chain's new seasonal red cups. At that moment, I happened to stumble upon a video from the fear-mongering Facebook Evangelist/ backwards snapback enthusiast Joshua Feuerstein, condemning Starbucks for "removing Christ and Christmas" from their plain red cups.

For anyone who doesn't want to watch the video for fear of losing all the brain cells left in their head (which is perfectly understandable), I'll tell you basically what his message was: Feuerstein, being the "hero" in this situation, starts off by saying, "I think in the age of political correctness, we've become so open-minded, our brains have literally fallen out of our heads" (moron more on that later) and accused Starbucks of hating Jesus. He then recalled his courageous escapade of walking into his local Starbucks, ordering a coffee, and telling the barista his name was "Merry Christmas."

DO YOU SEE WHAT HE DID THERE? DO YOU GET IT? HE TRICKED STARBUCKS INTO ADMITTING THAT CHRISTMAS WAS A REAL HOLIDAY. YOU KNOW, LIKE A PRANK. DO YOU GET IT? HE'S SO CUNNING.

Not only did this modern day messiah slay the evil beast of atheism by having an underpaid college student write the season's greeting on his cup, he wore his favorite Jesus tee shirt (you know, just to offend Starbucks) and had his second favorite handgun on his person in the store (you know, "since Starbucks hates the Second Amendment"). He then told "every great American and Christian in this great nation" to join him in making baristas lives even more miserable for the next week or so and "join the movement. He ended the video by saying "Take a moment; choose not to be politically correct, just correct."

Naturally, I had a couple concerns about this video, which I shall now put into convenient list form:

1. The thing about being "so open-minded that our brains have literally fallen out of our heads?" Funny thing about that theory; Collins English Dictionary defines open-minded as "having a mind receptive to new ideas, arguments, etc; unprejudiced." So do you mean to tell me that having a mind receptive to new ideas and being unprejudiced is the real problem here? Because if that's your argument, then it literally sounds like your brain fell out of your head.

2. I can't seem to stress this enough for some reason: there's a clear difference between "being politically correct" and "being an asshole." Let me explain: If you're "politically correct," you actually care about how people of different genders, races, religions and creeds are represented; for example, using preferred gender pronouns when talking to someone, not making racist jokes to your friends who are minorities, or just being genuinely kind to everyone you meet. If you're "being an asshole," you usually buy the "Caitlyn Jenner" Halloween costume and actually wear it, have an irrational fear of all Muslims, and you probably think that that all the Mexican immigrants living in the country should be kicked out because they're stealing jobs.

3. Feuerstein is basically trying to get as many people as possible to keep buying Starbucks products as a form of protest against Starbucks. It makes no sense at all (and only provides evidence in favor of the "brain falling out" theory I mentioned earlier). If anything, this is a sign that he really, really likes capitalism. No, Starbucks doesn't hate what you're doing; in fact, they should probably send you a thank you note and a generous gift card just to rub it in. You can still take rage-money to the bank, and Starbucks is probably rolling in it at this point.

4. It sounds like the only people who are offended by the red cup are the people who complain that political correctness is taking over the country and everyone gets offended by everything these days. How about that.

5. If Starbucks hates Christmas so much, please explain to me what this means:

or what kind of War on Christmas propaganda this could possibly be:

Somebody call Bill O'Reilly, because this is outrageous.

And finally, perhaps the most important reason why this is really really dumb:

6. IT'S NOVEMBER. WE HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO THANKSGIVING YET. WAIT YOUR TURN, CHRISTMAS.

In conclusion, this possibly takes the top prize for most idiotic protest ever. So, in order to stop the untimely demise of billions of brain cells all across the country, I have come up with a solution: shut the hell up about the red cups. The red cups are not the problem. Starbucks will keep making the red cups this season, and they might like the design so much that they decide to keep it. "But who cares?" you may be asking yourself. I have the answer to that, as well: Nobody. No sane person should be wasting their time complaining about the color of a paper cup you're going to throw away after one use, anyway.

And if you are one of the people who's upset by the sudden decoration change, this is the perfect opportunity to make something useful out of this whole mess and spread your own Christmas cheer! Go buy a homeless man some coffee, or if you're feeling extra generous, you can even buy him warm clothes! Volunteer in a soup kitchen! Help children mail letters to Santa! Build a snowman, because it's fun! There are plenty of more cheerful and positive things to do that will keep your mind off of this unbelievably stupid movement, like donating to charity, or volunteering. Besides, this season is all about giving (except if you're giving a hoot about what the color of the overpriced cup of coffee in your hand right now is).

And remember; be kind to your barista.