Every person who has ever been single has dealt with this infamous moment: your friends call you to hang out, tell you it's an all-girls night, but when you arrive at their place it's not just your friends. Their boyfriends are there too.
“We invited our boyfriends to hang out with us. Is that alright with you?” they'll ask, not caring about your response.
“Sure!” you'll reply, as you fake a tight, painful smile while thinking, I’m friends with you guys, not your boyfriends!
Weeks pass, and inevitably one of them gets their heart broken. Since you're the only one without a boyfriend to take up all your time, they come to you for advice. They may cry and tell you about how their bae screwed them over while you search the recesses of your mind looking for any decent relationship advice that you've gathered from years of watching romantic comedies.
As you can probably tell, I've been through this cycle many times before, and the same situation always seems to play out exactly like the last. I consider myself a professional third wheel, and here are some tips to being the perfect third wheel that might help if you ever find yourself in the same, miserable situation.
1. Don't give advice unless your friend asks for it.
Nobody likes unsolicited advice, and you shouldn't force your thoughts and feelings down your friend's throat. Even if you despise her boyfriend with every fiber of your being and inch of your soul, mind your own business and wait for them to come to you for advice. If they never do, then don't feel like a bad friend.
2. Bring a buddy to date nights.
If you and some of your dating friends want to go out, make sure you bring a friend along so that you're not completely alone at the end of the night when everyone starts kissing. Your friend can be male or female, but you're going to want someone there to be with you when everyone hides in the backseat of their cars and jumps on the one-way train to Smoochville.
3. Always take your friends side, not the side of their boyfriend’s (even if your friend is in the wrong!)
Look, you want to remain friends with your friend, NOT their boyfriend. Your opinion of your buddy’s man must always be the same as her. If her bae is acting like garbage and being horrible, tell her that you never liked him from the beginning and that she should find someone who treats her right. If everything in their relationship is rainbows and unicorns, tell them that they're the perfect couple and that you hope you'll find true love like them someday.
At the end of the day, there is no room for what you honestly think about her dead-beat boyfriend who she is head-over-heels for. Keep your mouth shut and wait for this storm of a relationship to pass.
4. Let your friends learn their lesson.
If your friend keeps getting heartbroken over and over again, the only way she will learn her lesson is by experience. This is the most difficult form of tough love that you will ever have to give a friend, but life teaches through lessons, not friendly advice. She will get hurt, and it is your job to comfort her, listen, and help her get through that difficult time in her life.
The primary job of a third wheel is to offer support. Someday when you date, your friends will be there to support you too.
5. Patience is a virtue, use it often.
There will be times when your friend will cancel plans with you to be with their boyfriend. Don't be upset when this happens. They're in love, and sometimes they are too blind to see how they hurt their friends' feelings from time to time. Always have a single buddy as backup to chill, that way when your dating friend cancels, there's someone to spend time with just like you who’s a proud member of the #singlepringles squad.
(I was hesitant to use this GIF even if it fits well in this article, but I decided to keep it because Taylor is extremely pathetic and I enjoy watching her admit it.)
Of course, if you and your dating pal have reached the “tough love, brutal honestly” phase of your relationship, feel free to break any of these rules. If not, its probably best to stay in your lane, so to speak.
If your friend is in danger of getting physically hurt in their relationship, then please intervene. Their safety is a #1 priority, and you have to put aside all boundaries to save your friend’s life if necessary.
In the end, be kind, supportive and the greatest friend you can be. And if you're sick of being the third wheel, getting a boyfriend is MUCH easier.