Orientations are coming up, and for those who are going through it for the second time, you’re not alone. To my first friends after transferring, the people who had to accept a stranger into their friend group, into their family; thank you. I will forever be grateful for you welcoming me and making the transition to a new school less painful.
The fear before the first day — moving in before everyone else just so you can get your bearing. When everyone comes, all you want is to be accepted. So you will act in any way to be accepted until you find that they will accept you for your calm and storm self. Some people will open up immediately and make it feel like you didn’t miss the year or two before. They catch you up on all the latest drama, boys that are off limits, people you may not want to talk to because all they will do is get you into trouble and all the hacks of your new school; those are your friends forever.
Although you are very grateful for your new friends that have easily accepted you, you have to find yourself and friends that don’t know you as the transfer. Join new clubs and groups, do things that your freshman or sophomore school friends wouldn’t have expected from you. You have the chance to redo what you couldn’t at your first school, or for some people leave that person you were behind. Everyone will be joining new clubs, starting new jobs — be honest and embrace being the transfer, but don't worry, everyone in the new club will be just as nervous and accepting as you!
There may be things that hurt you, try not to let them. When they leave to go out and don’t invite you, ignore it. Maybe they want to spend time like the old days when you weren’t there. It may make you feel less accepted, but you are only the transfer. They will remind you of that, you will always be introduced as “my transfer roommate” even months later. Titles may include, “the new bee,” or “favorite transfer.” It's only a title, you may feel less of a friend and more of a project when they say it, but they don’t mean it. Soon enough, you will no longer be the transfer roommate, you will simply be the roommate or if you're lucky enough, best friend. As the transfer you need to have a positive and open mind; it's how you will make it through the first few weeks before you find your one special person who won't call you the transfer.
Take your new school as a chance to find your place and find your people; embrace your new adventure and enjoy it; getting through the hard and confusing times is worth it when you find true friends you never expected to.
