I had my daughter in December of 2019 as I stated in my last post. I had a really hard time finishing my fall semester because my last trimester was brutal for me because I had to do a two mile walk between classes with a huge belly. It was putting a lot of distress on me and my little one. However I ended up finishing them. When it came to spring semester it wasn't the same. I had a very needy newborn who was having trouble breastfeeding so I had to move to formula. It was extremely challenging for me and her so I had to take a break.
The struggles
Now, she is 9 months old and I am finishing my last semester. I only have to take four classes but a lot of them are reading intensive and writing intensive. I'm so grateful for the professors that I have the semester because I have had many of them before. For my senior seminar I have the greatest mentor I could ever ask for who is Katie Budris who is going to help me write my chapbook. However, balancing the home life and a school life as you know for many of you is very challenging. Especially during a nationwide pandemic. For the most part I've been in quarantine with the exception of going to the grocery store and the mall one time. Since she is so little, I don't know much about her in her own house so I don't want to risk her getting COVID-19.
Even though it's only the second week I already feel overwhelmed. The biggest challenge for me is staying in a routine and having a very active baby on top of that can be unpredictable. I'm grateful for the nap time so I can go on Canvas to do my readings if she falls asleep in my arms and access to online materials. To be honest, I am so happy that everything is online this semester. I don't know how I'd be able to do everything on top of a 40 minute long commute and back. It's nice being able to go from my desk to downstairs to my girl and my fiancé. There are days that I have when I accomplish nothing and that's okay. There are going to be days when the only thing I can achieve is to read for 5 minutes. There are days when I fall asleep with a book in my hand or a pen but that's okay.
Why can't there be a magic pill?
When I think about the movie/book Limitless when I'm trying to accomplish everything at once and we all know that it's not possible. He even had consequences and that's something to remember. We can't do everything at once, we aren't limitless creatures...we have to know our limits to control our sanity.
A big thank you
As a Writing Arts major, I'm working towards my Master's Degree in Creative Writing after I complete this semester as well. I want to be a professor like the amazing people I've experienced at Rowan University such as: Katie Budris, Jade Jones, and Jason Luther. They have been the biggest support system to me throughout my time at Rowan and during my pregnancy. I want to be able to have their emotional availability and intelligence to help other students as they have helped me. Now more than ever, it's important to have a support system. This is a reminder that your professors are more than just educators, they have the ability to help you with anything and you'll be surprised by what you can learn from them.
Being a mom alone isn't easy, it itself is a full-time job...but we are capable of conquering our tasks. We have the drive to complete our education for them, for the sake of a better life and a role model for education. It is a daunting task but it is something that we are all able to complete--and the same goes for fathers. We got this, no matter how hard it gets. When I get my degree while holding her little hand, I will cry of joy and I don't think I'll never feel more proud.
