Are you the person that the person you are looking for is looking for? - Andy Stanley
Many of us claim to be ready to find the right person. Many of us can go on and on about the type of person we are looking for. Many of us are even looking for the right type of person: a respectful, kind, gracious, honest, and Godly person. However, the sad fact is that for many, the person they are looking for is not looking for them.
Many desire a pure man or woman, and yet they are living a promiscuous life-style. Many desire a future wife or husband that is accepting and understanding, and yet they themselves are living a lifestyle full of judgment and criticism towards others. Many desire a man or woman that loves the Lord, and yet, they themselves are living a lifestyle that pushes God to the very bottom.
Many of us are antsy. Many of us are ready to find that person. It is tough not knowing. I get that. I am living that. However, I feel as if instead of focusing on finding the right person, we should spend that time focusing on making ourselves ready for when that person comes along.
Live a life-style that attracts the person you are looking for to you. The type of husband or wife that you dream of, yes, be that person. Just like the quote from one of my favorite movies Field of Dreams, "If you build it, they will come." Trust that if you mold yourself into the type of significant other you dream of, the other half will join.
Do not rush. Whatever you do, do not rush. Rushing often leads to settling and unhappiness. And by often, I mean 99.99% of the time. Take your time. I am not a patient person and so I feel how hard it can be, but I promise you it is worth it. My current girlfriend and I just started dating recently after waiting for about 5 months. Now, I am not saying you have to wait that long. It is different for everybody. Some it may be even longer. Just make sure you do not rush or settle. Healthy relationships take time and patience.
Remember that looks are not everything. Remember that looks fade, personalities fade, but a desire for Christ can only grow. Cling to this one. Make sure that whoever you decide to pursue, it is someone who seeks Christ diligently. And I am not oblivious, looks do matter and personalities are important, but they are not everything. Looks fade. Looks turn to wrinkles. His nice haircut will most likely turn into a cul-de-sac one day and her nice body will most likely put on a few pounds. Be wise with this one. Find someone who puts Christ first above all things because a love for Christ can only grow stronger and more attractive.
Treat them as if they are already there. Keep them on your mind. Remember what you are striving for. Write letters to them. Pray for them, and keep praying for them. Imagine how special will it be to one day tell your future wife or husband that you prayed for them, that you wrote to them, that you thought about them, and that the reason you are who you are, is because of them.
Make sure you are looking in the right places. Just as pro-scouts do not go looking for talent at little league fields, neither should you. Look for the right person, where you believe the right person will be.
Lastly, Remember that this process never stops. It never does, and it never should. When you are dating, when you are engaged, when you are married, be the best you, you can be to your significant other. Treat them with respect. Treat them with love, just as Christ would.
So remember, focus on you. Make sure that when the right person comes along, you are who they are looking for.