Growing up in an Iranian family as a first-generation American, I struggled with my identity. My parents moved to the United States from Iran at different times but with the same goal to succeed in the Land of Opportunities. Unfortunately, at the time, this goal was not as tangible in the motherland. They are both hard-working immigrants who have adjusted extremely well to the culture shock of moving from a completely different country. With that said, despite them becoming dedicated American citizens, they have managed to keep their Iranian culture strongly apart of our everyday lives. This really confused my siblings and I growing up.
I was born in Georgia and raised by proud Iranian parents. I did not understand how I was supposed to act as an Iranian and an American. When my siblings and I were born, my parents expected we would learn English in school, so they decided to teach us Farsi at home as our first language. It is safe to say that I struggled to balance the differences in cultures.
Every decision I made, no matter how simple, went back to that core problem. When I was at home, was I supposed to speak English or Farsi? On the first day of school, was I supposed to pronounce my name the correct way or settle for the way non-Iranians mispronounced butchered it? For lunch, was I supposed to take a turkey sandwich to school or the leftover joojeh kabob? When I greeted elders, was I supposed to give them a firm handshake, or was I supposed to give a light kiss on each cheek? I constantly questioned what I was supposed to do.
When I would ask others for advice, I would receive the usual “just be yourself” speech. What does that even mean? I didn’t know who I was yet. To be completely honest, I still have not figured out exactly who I am, but I’m learning every day. Every day, I work to become the best possible version of myself.
Today, what I do know is that I am a proud Iranian-American. I know my roots and I respect my culture’s traditions, but I am not afraid to mix in not only my American culture, but all other cultures I am fascinated with as well. I know other first-generation young adults are facing the same issues I did. Throughout my first 20 years of life as an Iranian-American, I have learned a few tips that might help those exploring their identity.
First, speak whichever language you want to speak. If it is important to you that you keep up with your Farsi, then practice it. Second, pronounce your name the way you want to hear it. Never settle. Pronounce it loud and proud. Third, for lunch, definitely make a joojeh kabob sandwich. You will not regret it. Last, when you are greeting elders or meeting new people, make your presence known however you feel comfortable.
Always remember that life is not only about finding yourself, but also about creating yourself.
