Most of us go off to college with this vision: My roommate is going to be my best friend, I will meet so many cool people during welcome week, and they will all be at my future wedding, and our kids will be best friends. Most of us end up with this: My roommate annoys me, we will not be friends outside of this room, the guy I met from welcome week won’t leave me alone, and that girl who I started to plan spring break with had a psychotic break down. What we can expect is the unexpected. That may not seem helpful, but it will save you from getting your dream of instantly making a friend group like "How I Met Your Mother" crushed. So here are a few helpful tips on how to find true friends freshman year and avoid the crazy ones.
Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover: Yes; our parents have been preaching this to us since we were avoiding that kid in kindergarten who ate glue. But, that kid ended up being your best friend until this day and is one of the kindest and wittiest people you know. So, during your first few weeks at school give everyone a chance. This is the age of social media, but avoid making assumptions about people based on their photos. Even if you think you are too hipster to hang out with sorority or fraternity fellows (or vice versa) try it out. If you two don’t jive then you can blame me and move on to finding a more compatible match.
Be Yourself: I know college is a place for you to reinvent yourself, but always stay true to who you are. You should love every quirky thing about yourself, and if you have to hide them from your new friends in fear of them judging you, then those are not the right friends for you. No matter how long you try and hide it, your snort will come out eventually when you are watching a funny YouTube video, or you will be caught singing into your mirror. Make friends who will not only record you on Snapchat but will also join you.
Listen to Your Gut: No, I am not talking about your freshman 15 gut, I am talking about your morals. If you wouldn’t sneak up onto a roof, drunk, by yourself, don’t let your new friends pressure you into it. If the things your new friends do are against your moral code, then they are not the right friends for you. Don’t change what you believe in just to fit in.
Do Not Jump Into Being BFFs: My most genuine friendships did not happen in a week, it took many years of personal growth to reach a long-lasting friendship. Just because you and your roommate both cannot wait to live and do everything together does not mean that things are going to work out. It takes a while to really get to know someone and by the end of the year it may be World War III between you. Hang out with all different types of people, and eventually you will know which ones you want to spend the majority of your time with and which ones you will meet occasionally for lunch.
Talk It Out: I encourage you to do fun, adventurous things with your new friends, but also plan some time to chill out and talk. Go somewhere like a coffee shop or art museum and find out more about the prospective friend. In that way, it is quite similar to dating. You are looking to find someone who is a match for you and to weed out the crazy ones. Hopefully, by the end of your four years in college you will have made the friends that are right for you and are as close as family.
