Self-doubt; something we’ve all experienced to some extent. The fear of never being good enough. The fear of rejection or feeling the need to “prove” ourselves or please others to gain a sense of self-worth.
The truth is, we are all confident. There is confidence in each and every single one of us. We just have to find it…
It’s not that you’re not confident. It’s that you THINK you’re not confident
We have so much potential and we are all more than capable of greatness. However, the fear of failure and rejection, the constant need to feel accepted and “good enough” fuels our self-doubt. Our talents go unnoticed, we become uncertain of our own potential and eventually, our lack of confidence overshadows our sense of self-worth.
It’s time to break that vicious cycle of fear and self-doubt and discover a sense of confidence that you never knew you had.
Realize that the most important judgment is your own
It’s not about what anyone else thinks. It’s about what YOU think. You can’t rely on the judgment of others to make you feel confident. You can’t rely on what they think of you to tell you what you think of yourself. The only person who controls the way you feel about yourself is you. Instead of doing what you think is “right” or what other people want you to do, do what makes you happy.
Don’t deprive yourself of happiness by conforming to who you think people expect you to be. Realize that it’s detrimental to care more about what others think of you than of what you think of yourself.
Take action
Like most other things in life, self-confidence takes time and effort. You just can’t sit around and hope that one day you’ll wake up and suddenly become confident. You have to take action and realize that you have a choice: to be your own biggest fan or fall victim to your fears and doubts.
Be bigger than your fears
“All the best things in life are on the other side of fear”
At some point in your life, you’ve let fear dictate your life. Think of the moments where you’ve let opportunities pass you by or the moments where you made yourself small. Don’t let fear cripple you and stop you from living your best life Instead, let fear motivate you and give you the courage to overcome the very things that you’re afraid of. Only then, will you discover a sense of pride and confidence.
Take risks and be prepared to fail
Yup. That’s right. Accept the fact that failure is inevitable. Accept the fact that there will be times when life will knock you down but you just have to get back up again and use those failures to your advantage. Strengthen your confidence by taking risks and stepping out of your comfort zone. Failure will only help you to learn and grow.
Realize that we weren’t made to be perfect
When you need to prove your worth or if you never feel “good enough,” no matter what you do, you should realize that you will never find genuine joy in your accomplishments if you use it as a source of validation. Your need to prove yourself to others and your need to be the best at all times will leave you with a void that will never be filled.
You’ll always feel the need to accomplish something else, something better. So don’t look for validation by proving yourself to others to make you feel a sense of self-worth. We’re not meant to be perfect. Nor are we meant to live our lives for other people. We’re meant to live for ourselves and for the things that we love.
Stop looking for rejection in places where it doesn’t exist
Odds are, they're just excuses to avoid your fear of rejection. Don’t let those excuses hold you back. Don’t let your fears make you feel powerless. Do yourself a favor and stop thinking of the worst-case scenarios. Start living your life.
Stop apologizing
When you’ve done anything wrong, don’t apologize. Don’t willingly take responsibility for something that isn’t your fault. Stop blaming yourself. Don’t let yourself carry an unnecessary burden of guilt for something entirely out of your control. You are not the problem so don’t let yourself feel like you’re one.
Realize that we act in ways that justify the way we feel about ourselves.
It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. The way you think about yourself creates expectations about what you can and can’t do. A lack of self-esteem or self-worth creates the belief that you are not worthy of experiencing, attaining or achieving the best things in life. If you think you aren’t worthy of love or happiness, then you act in ways that reflect that belief: you sabotage the love and relationships that you have in your life by closing yourself off from them because you think you don’t deserve it or aren’t worthy of it.
Your actions reflect the expectations and beliefs you have about yourself and consequently, become apparent in reality. Whether or not you realize it, you create situations where your beliefs are justified throughout the world around you.
Start telling yourself that you ARE good enough and that you ARE worthy of having a wonderful and happy life
Instead of selling yourself short, tell yourself that you are enough and deserve nothing but the best. It might sound like complete BS but eventually, your actions will reflect those thoughts and beliefs and the world around you will too.
& Lastly, love yourself
“You can’t expect others to love you if you don’t love yourself first”
Choose to love yourself. Choose to see your worth and all the incredible things that you have to offer. Don't focus on what you think are flaws. Focus on what you like about yourself. Realize that you have all potential in the world. You’ll live a much happier life if you give yourself some credit.
Channel your doubts and fears into something positive and remind yourself that you ARE enough! You just have to find that part of you that knows that and let that confidence shine through and guide you to be the best possible version of yourself.
