"Comparison is the thief of joy." (Theodore Roosevelt) It destroys us. It is a compilation of all the lies we believe about ourselves. We also tend to judge others. Much of this judgment we use to make us feel better about ourselves.
We often don't realize that when we judge others we are really only thinking of ourselves. We don't stop to wonder what they're going through. We don't stop and ask ourselves: what are they going through?
For all we know their parents could have just gotten a divorce. They could be battling depression, anxiety or some other mental health situation.
Maybe they lost someone they love recently. The point is, we don't know what their cross is. We don't know what their struggles are. Even if they are the most popular person, they too have a cross you don't know about.
We compare ourselves to others. We either look at others as above us or below us. In both cases, we neglect to see ourselves and others as God sees. We all have brokenness, but God sees past that. He wants to heal that.
We need to stop and think to yourself: "I don't know what their cross is, but I bet it is heavier than mine" (Mark Hart). Comparing yourself to others is self-destructive. Judging others is destructive to both others and even yourself.
Comparison and judgment both end up leaving you feeling empty. They don't have a positive impact on you. So, just don't do it. I know it is hard to do. It is easier said than done. There is a saying that says, "a flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms." (unknown)
Be like that flower. Grow at your own rate and be unique to you. So what if you're different from the people to your left and right! I love a good competition as much, if not more than the next person. But in life focus on being the best version of yourself.
Those around you will come and go, but you are stuck with yourself forever. Don't dread it. Don't think less of yourself. Think of yourself less. "Be who you were meant to be, and you will set the world on fire." (St. Catherine of Siena)
Discover yourself. Love yourself first. Discover the person you are. Find yourself so that you can help others uncover who they are. There should never be a need for comparison or judgment.
Yes, unfortunately, these things will always be around. However, change starts with you. It starts with me. One by one, if we stop comparing, if we stop judging we can make a difference in the world.
There will be more joy, more peace, and Lord-willing, less self-hatred in this world. By loving yourself, you can love others and make the world a better place. A simple choice, a simple action can change the world.
It can even save lives. By leaving that unnecessary comment to yourself, you may just save someone from not only having a bad day, but you can save them from diving deeper into self-loathing, deeper into those lies.
By saving those comments, you can make others feel freer from the lies and the pain. I'm not saying you have to go pat everyone on the back. What I'm saying is be more uplifting. As a wise man once said, "negative humor is straight from the pits of hell, leave it there." (Fr. Gus)
It doesn't make anyone feel good. It doesn't make the world a better place, so don't use it. The world will go on without it and quite frankly, the world would be better without it. Lastly, be love. Every fiber of our being at the end of the day wants to be loved.
Don't just wait to receive it. Give it. Give without expectations of receiving it. If all we did was wait to be loved, no one would ever feel loved. Give so that another may receive.
