I’m Finally Not Afraid To Say It—I Don’t Like You
Relationships

I’m Finally Not Afraid To Say It—I Don’t Like You

I used to worry that disliking you reflected badly on me.

16
Quotefancy

“You can’t be friends with everyone.” I recently heard this advice from a friend of mine, to whom I vented about issues I’d been having with other friends. It may seem really obvious, but it’s a fact that I, apparently, up until this point, have always struggled to accept.

I’ve always been taught throughout my entire life to love all people. To be kind and friendly, and to try and get along with everyone. Now, at 20, this is simply the standard I hold myself to. I always try to look for the good in people and not judge them—because how can I expect others to see me in a good light if I can’t do the same for them, right?

The way people see me has always been important to me—much more important than it should be at this age. Unhealthily so. I’m very insecure. I often have a pretty negative perception of myself. I struggle with anxiety and self-esteem issues. And like other people who deal with these issues, I live with a highly critical voice in my head that is often very mean and unfair. People without this voice in their head cannot possibly imagine how difficult it is for those who do have it to block it out. It is the narrator of the inferiority complex. That voice can make it very hard to have relationships, romantic or platonic.

I’m a terrible over-thinker. It usually takes me a really long time to decide how I feel about a person—and believe me when I say it, I stress over it big-time. (As if stressing about what other people think of me wasn’t enough.) I don’t want to dislike anyone, because in my mind, disliking someone means deeming their flaws more intolerable than mine—and that just can’t be true, since I’m the most intolerable person I know. I must just be plain wrong. It must be me, not them. That voice in my head almost doesn’t allow me to think negatively of others, because it tells me I don’t have the right to. I have to convince myself that they’re worse than they actually are in order to justify my feelings toward them.

So when your personality did a complete 180 and I started to notice myself not feeling as fond of you as I once did, my mind fought that feeling hard. It didn’t help that you seemed to be moving toward the leader position, becoming the one who called all the shots. It didn’t help that I felt as if I had to like you in order to have any worth in your group. At the time, trusting myself and embracing what my gut was telling me felt scary. At the time, I worried that disliking you reflected badly on me.

But now I’m not worrying about that anymore. Now I’m not trying to justify anything anymore, to anyone. I am starting to realize that I do have the right to a negative opinion of you. I am now able to simply and guiltlessly say that as much as I wish I did, I don’t like you.

It may seem like such a simple statement, one that shouldn’t require some long, detailed thought process. But for someone like me, to be able to say that, to admit and acknowledge that, is very freeing. I’m handing power back to myself, and giving myself the fairness and respect I deserve by doing so. I don’t like your judgment and your scrutiny, I don’t like how you act as if your word is law. I don’t like the way you stick your nose in everyone’s business and I hate how immature you are. You’re two-faced and cowardly, and you don’t know how to deal with problems like an adult. I can’t trust you.

You are definitely, without a doubt, one of those people I cannot be friends with, and I’m finally okay with that. I finally realize that doesn’t make me hypocritical and it doesn’t say anything bad about me. It makes me someone who’s finally learning how to look out for number one.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

Founders Of Color Q&A: Yarlap's MaryEllen Reider On Destigmatizing Women's Health

The father-daughter duo co-founded the brand and has since generated a passionate, dedicated community of women.

MaryEllen Reider

I was lucky enough to meet MaryEllen Reider over a decade ago as a fellow freshman in college. Since then, I had the luxury of being able to witness her evolution from the faithful companion I went to my first job fair with to the woman who is now a pioneer in destigmatizing the portrayal of women's reproductive health.

Keep Reading... Show less

My favorite Editor was feeling under the weather yesterday. All I wanted was to make her a vegan iced matcha latte. With distance forbidding it, I instead decided to write up this quick, easy recipe. I made it to be vegan and organic for optimal health benefits.

Matcha green tea is made from grounded green tea leaf and it comes with the most antioxidant boost ever.

Keep Reading... Show less

This coffee brand is USDA organic. Newman's Own Keurig coffee flavors are all organic. They have French Roast, Decaf, and a Special Blend. I'm in a committed relationship with the French Roast flavor. The smell alone from dispensing 1 cup of coffee sets a whole cafe jazz vibe.

I'm already relaxed when I smell the coffee all ready for dressing. The way I make my coffee is simple and sweet, literally. I add a spoon of organic brown sugar and a splash of organic almond vanilla milk. This cup of coffee has changed my life forever. I have never been so productive in my life and I truly believe it's because the coffee is organic.

Keep Reading... Show less

These organic, cruelty-free skincare products are great for hot, sweaty summers. I use them every day, so you will find my honest opinion about them all. I highly recommend using organic products because they are least likely to be harmful to your body.

This may seem like an extra step when it comes to your beauty routine, but it's really easy. These 5 products could be the start of your next beauty venture.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

These 5 Black Handbag Designers Should Be On Every Accessory Lover's Radar

With the push to support more Black-owned businesses, we've put together a list of Black owned handbag designers.

Ever since the current upheaval of societal silence happening in the country caused by the #BlackLivesMatter movement, there has been a bigger push for people to support Black-owned businesses.

Granted, there are a lot fo Black-owned businesses to support, it just takes time to find them. With that being said, fashion is a sector, just like any sector really, in a culture that still has people of color calling out for more diversity.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Feel A Lil' Better: Because Therapy Dogs Aren't Just Cute, They're Working

Your weekly wellness boost from Odyssey.

No matter how good (or bad) you'd describe your health, one thing is for sure: a little boost is ALWAYS a good idea. Whether that's reading a new, motivating book, or listening to a song that speaks to your soul, there are plenty of resources to help your health thrive on any given day.

There are many different ways people overcome obstacles in their lives. Thankfully, the stigma surrounding therapy is slowly (but surely) slipping away and we're opening up about our problems and needs. For some, a good workout is just as relaxing. Others are learning how meditation can be a helpful tool in their mental health journey.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments