I’m Finally Not Afraid To Say It—I Don’t Like You

I’m Finally Not Afraid To Say It—I Don’t Like You

I used to worry that disliking you reflected badly on me.
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“You can’t be friends with everyone.” I recently heard this advice from a friend of mine, to whom I vented about issues I’d been having with other friends. It may seem really obvious, but it’s a fact that I, apparently, up until this point, have always struggled to accept.

I’ve always been taught throughout my entire life to love all people. To be kind and friendly, and to try and get along with everyone. Now, at 20, this is simply the standard I hold myself to. I always try to look for the good in people and not judge them—because how can I expect others to see me in a good light if I can’t do the same for them, right?

The way people see me has always been important to me—much more important than it should be at this age. Unhealthily so. I’m very insecure. I often have a pretty negative perception of myself. I struggle with anxiety and self-esteem issues. And like other people who deal with these issues, I live with a highly critical voice in my head that is often very mean and unfair. People without this voice in their head cannot possibly imagine how difficult it is for those who do have it to block it out. It is the narrator of the inferiority complex. That voice can make it very hard to have relationships, romantic or platonic.

I’m a terrible over-thinker. It usually takes me a really long time to decide how I feel about a person—and believe me when I say it, I stress over it big-time. (As if stressing about what other people think of me wasn’t enough.) I don’t want to dislike anyone, because in my mind, disliking someone means deeming their flaws more intolerable than mine—and that just can’t be true, since I’m the most intolerable person I know. I must just be plain wrong. It must be me, not them. That voice in my head almost doesn’t allow me to think negatively of others, because it tells me I don’t have the right to. I have to convince myself that they’re worse than they actually are in order to justify my feelings toward them.

So when your personality did a complete 180 and I started to notice myself not feeling as fond of you as I once did, my mind fought that feeling hard. It didn’t help that you seemed to be moving toward the leader position, becoming the one who called all the shots. It didn’t help that I felt as if I had to like you in order to have any worth in your group. At the time, trusting myself and embracing what my gut was telling me felt scary. At the time, I worried that disliking you reflected badly on me.

But now I’m not worrying about that anymore. Now I’m not trying to justify anything anymore, to anyone. I am starting to realize that I do have the right to a negative opinion of you. I am now able to simply and guiltlessly say that as much as I wish I did, I don’t like you.

It may seem like such a simple statement, one that shouldn’t require some long, detailed thought process. But for someone like me, to be able to say that, to admit and acknowledge that, is very freeing. I’m handing power back to myself, and giving myself the fairness and respect I deserve by doing so. I don’t like your judgment and your scrutiny, I don’t like how you act as if your word is law. I don’t like the way you stick your nose in everyone’s business and I hate how immature you are. You’re two-faced and cowardly, and you don’t know how to deal with problems like an adult. I can’t trust you.

You are definitely, without a doubt, one of those people I cannot be friends with, and I’m finally okay with that. I finally realize that doesn’t make me hypocritical and it doesn’t say anything bad about me. It makes me someone who’s finally learning how to look out for number one.

Cover Image Credit: Quotefancy

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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For Your Best Girl Friend, Dump Your Boyfriend... I'm Bored

The best things about your girl friends.

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Social media is so deceiving lately, always posting about relationship goals or get yourself a man like this. Honestly, I'm tired of it and why don't we hear more about our girls? LET'S BE REAL! It's hard to be absolutely yourself around a boy, for it takes some time to break down those walls and really get comfortable with each other.

Reflecting on my college life so far, All I can be really grateful for is my GIRLS! Here are the best things about having girlfriends!

1. NO TEXTING RULES!

There is always that unspoken rule or constant animosity when texting a boy. When it comes to girls, there are no rules. I always love waking up in the morning and texting my group chats to see who is either down for breakfast, a study session, or just to check in to make sure everyone is alive. You can text and little and as much as you want and not break a sweat.

2. Unconditional Love

Whenever I'm getting ready for a big interview or for a special event, I always look to my friends for approval. Not only do they know what's in my closet and may suggest a better clothing item they really care about putting my best foot forward and telling me if I look my best in whatever I choose to wear. Sometimes the truth is something people avoid to share because they are afraid to offend someone, but friends will love you no matter what and just want you to be happy.

3. Movie binge

I always love Friday nights. My friends and I have made little traditions of gaining out to dinner, getting our favorite snacks, and picking a movie or Netflix show to binge on. Usually, we all go off topic and get deep into conversation and dance around like complete fools, but these are the memories I will cherish the most about college.

4. Girls squads

Personally, I feel more confident when I am surrounded by my friends whoever we go out to have fun. When you share a common interest of either singing as loud as you can taking a good car ride or just need a dance partner that you can bust a move on the dance floor, having your friends by your side makes every night that much more fun.

5. The good and the bad

It would be a fairytale if friendships were always peaches, but reality is... girls have their fights. Sometimes usually it always surrounds little things because we spend so much time together. The important thing about having healthy friendships is being open and communicate how you feel. Usually, little things get resolved and life moves on. If it is not a fight between each other your friends are there for you when your down or just not feeling your best. We need each other through college to stay and finish strong.

6. The best side kick

Maybe it is just me, but I love when my friends are down for anything like going shopping, getting food, going to the gym, and getting nails done. My friends and I are so close you would think we are related and I am so happy to have such great gals in my life that push me to be the best person I can be!

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