This year has been one of the hardest years of my life. It took some of the most important men in my life from me, it took some people far too young, and it took everything I had to get through it. Despite this year taking a lot away from me, though, it also left me with a lot. Though it was the roughest year, this year also taught me a lot.
This year taught me to value the time that I have with the people I love. It taught me to remember the sound of their voice, the way their laugh echoes through a room and to cement in my brain the way that their smile could light up a room. It has taught me that when they are gone, those memories will be the things that they leave with me. They will leave me with lots of questions, but to never let one of those questions be if they knew how much I loved them. This year taught me to tell the people I love them that I do frequently and loudly.
This year taught me that it's okay to ask for help. Yes, I may still be working on this one, but I don't know how I would have gotten through this year if I didn't have the support of those around me. This ranges from my roommates who made sure I ate at least one bowl of chicken and pasta even though I didn't even want to get out of my bed to my family who tried to step in and fill part of the hole the people I love had left.
This year taught me that I'm stronger than I know. There were days when I didn't want to get out of bed, that I didn't want to do the everyday things that keep us going. I did them anyways because that's what you have to do. It taught me that no matter what happens, I keep going. I keep doing.
This year taught me that there is always happiness on the other side, even if you can't see it at first. Going through this year, the hits came one after another after another. It seemed like before I could get up from the last one, the next was knocking me to the ground again. All the while, I remembered that there was another day on the other side of the moon and when that day seemed as dark as the current one, I focused my attention on 2017. There may not be as much celebrating without the people I lost this holiday season, but at the stroke of midnight on January 1st, there will be more to celebrate than ever before because this year will be over.
There will be times where life will kick your butt. It will make you not want to keep going, but you will do it anyways. It will make you want to hole up and not talk to anyone, but you have to. You will keep going, you will keep giving, you will keep living all because that's how it gets better. Then one day you'll find that it's because you want to again. That's my hope for 2017.
