"Fight for what you love..."

"What" meaning the things I love(d).

I remember senior year, setting being band camp (ha yes tHat OnE tiMe At BaNd CaMp). I never stretched before games, practice, or competitions. But it bit me in the ass. One day, we were learning our new routines for the show and our choreographer asked us to try something new that the crowd and judges would love. Lo and behold, the jump splits. Yup. Exactly what it sounds like, you jump up into the air and land right into the splits. Well, Miss Don't-Have-To-Stretch over here was like "OK bet" and plopped right down and strained my hamstring. Bad. Like was stuck and could not stand up. My mom took me for an MRI (hoping it wasn't a hamstring tear — which God hears your prayers, that is evidence) and I ended up sitting out the rest of the season for dance line and attending physical therapy 2-3 times a week. I knew I had to get it right because basketball season followed right behind and I could NOT sit out my senior year, my coach and teammates were looking forward to me being out there. As much as I hated the stretches, the cupping, the needles, the exercises, I fought hard.So hard that I was able to show up to practice on the first day and give it my all.

I remember the day I played my last basketball game, the last time I ran out of the spirit lines, the last time I heard my name being called over the speakers, the last time I heard the buzzer go off (OK I'm actually crying right now). The game I fell in love with. Growing up and really even still, I show literally zero emotions (no like actually — one time I made a buzzer-beater shot and I ran off the court with nothing short of a frown), I honestly feel as though showing emotions makes me weak. But I remember, running into the locker room, sitting down, and tucking my knees to my chest to bury my face so I could cry without anyone seeing the tears roll down my cheeks. I loved the game. Everything about it. I worked my ass off for that game and I can walk away knowing I fought hard for it, I played with 100%, and I left it all on the court.

I remember the day I got my acceptance letter to Auburn University, a few weeks after receiving a scholarship to UAB. UAB is the best school for my career path, but Auburn has always had my heart. It was not easy telling my parents I wanted to go to a more expensive school who offered me no money instead of living at home and taking the easy route. I knew I would have to fight it hard. And here I am, in my junior year, fighting hard to get into nursing school, in my apartment at Auburn.

Fighting for what you love is not always easy, but in my instances, it has been so worth it.

"But most importantly fight for who you love"

"Who" meaning the people I love(d).

When I think about fighting for those that you love, I first think of my brother (yup that go-to dude who gave me the title of this post). All relationships come to an end, except this one. He is stuck with me. Family doesn't always mean blood by any means, but my blood has never fallen short of being family.

So here's to Richie: The one who taught me what love is, how to love, and how to be loved. The first boy I loved, really. He is not perfect but is the perfect mold for a role model. Nothing has and will ever come between us. Little fact: my sister, KB, is the middle child so she is kinda odd man out, but Rich and I look exactly alike (like no really — shave my head and I'm his clone). Since KB looked nothing like us, growing up in school no one knew she was our sister, the only way they knew we were of relation was because of our last name.

However, nothing, I mean absolutely nothing, made me giggle harder walking into class on the first day of the school year and seeing the terror in my teacher's eyes when they called my name for attendance and looked up saying "Oh god, you are Richie's little sister, aren't you?" I would say "yes" and do a little smirk, just warning them that I am no better than him with the sarcastic comments and attitudes. Recently, my brother went down a rocky road and is actually still fighting tough battles. I spend every night praying for him and yeah, maybe even shedding a few tears. I changed my entire outlook on life after comparing it to the thought of no longer walking on this earth. That is when this quote changed my world, "Fight for WHO you love." So to keep it short, he is my best friend, hero, partner in crime, brother, friend, encourager, supporter. In other words, I will fight for this man until the day my heart stops beating.

The next people I want to shoutout are my mom and dad. Yes, I know y'all came before Richie (I mean DUH! Richie wouldn't be here without you two). My parents mean the WORLD to me. I am beyond lucky to still have the two of them on this Earth with me because a lot of people don't. Not only did y'all teach me how to love, but you guys show me every. single. day. You guys have set the perfect example and mold for my marriage one day.

Mom, you will fight anyone for me. You are THE strongest woman I know (not to mention badass). And I will do the same for you. Quick story: when my mom was growing up, her little brother got bullied so she went and beat the bully up because "no one is gonna hurt my little brother."

Secondly, when I think about fighting for those I have loved, I think about my different boyfriends. How the relationship was and the memories we made with the time spent together. THESE relationships, in particular, do all come to an end unfortunately but even the "bad boyfriends" can leave a few grins when thinking back on them.

So, there was Adam. When I think about that season of life, I think about being in children's church following this boy around, trying to get him to play with me. I loved going to church if it meant seeing him. I knew everything about him, literally. I remember him trying to convince our teachers he was allergic to peanut butter so he didn't have to eat the same snack every Sunday and I would pipe in "no he's not! he is just tired of eating this snack." Ah yes! That young love where you are mean to the ones you like. I remember our parents (who probably still won't admit it) matching us for Easter every. single. year. We would walk in and they would act all surprised, "aw y'all are both wearing the same shade of blue! How ironic! Let's take a picture so we will have it for y'all's wedding one day"... Riiiiiight. It did not take us long to catch on. He remained my best friend throughout all of elementary and middle school. Everyone always predicted we would get married someday. I honestly don't know if you'd consider this season a real "love phase" but he definitely showed me what love was at a young age. So Adam, if you see this, lots of love dude. You were a champ during children's church. You rock!

Second... there was JG. We weren't together for a long time, but we were there for a good time. I remember sitting in the eno together at Drews, sophomore year. IT WAS FREEZING OUTSIDE but you know I had to dress cute so warm was not an option. All awkwardly, sometime in the middle of the night, he asked me to be his girlfriend all nervously. Of course I said yeah, I mean duh. I remember following that, he would come wait at my locker in between classes, allowing a quick "hey" to happen as we ran off to our next. I remember breaking his heart — still hurts me to this day. The first time I realized how much of an impact others have on a life. If I never told you, and you are reading this, I am so sorry. That season of life was full of lessons learned about how to love.

Then... there was Alex. My first true love. When I think about this season of life, so many vivid memories come to mind, almost as if it were yesterday but August 2019, it was an entire year of not being side by side every second of every day. He was there during the fun times and was there even more during the hardest times. I remember the day we actually met. We went to school together our whole lives but he was 2 years older than I was (this is what I was talking about when I said my sister's class was not a far shot for me with boys unlike my brother's). He was in the gym probably doing something he shouldn't have been doing; I was also in the gym. It was game day for me and I was in full-on "game mode." He said a few words to me and I just glared back at him with nothing short of a "leave me alone" face. Who knew a few short months later we would be dating?! So here's to you Alex: my first true love, the one who had my back, spoiled me, loved me, supported me, and went to war for me. My fondest memory is looking up to you in the stands during a timeout (he never missed a game, by the way) — he would be smiling that huge grin, holding up the number of points I had with his fingers. Yup! My very own stat keeper. I also remember (keep in mind my family is very outspoken) I was afraid to bring him around the entire "Buckner" family so I waited until we were six months into our relationship and brought him on our big family beach trip — because I knew he couldn't leave there. He stood by my side during the deaths of two close people, one being a classmate and one being a family member, aiding in comfort and love. My heart and head is full of the great memories that will last a lifetime. He taught me how to love myself, appreciate the small things, to work hard for what I receive, and to live every day as if it's my last. Although he has gone away, the memories and lessons will stick with me throughout my journey.

Finally... there was Devin. Our relationship is nothing like the ones above. It isn't the cliche, lovey-dovey type thing. Although he will kick my ass for saying this, he is my best friend. The one I can always run to, count on, cry on. So here's to you, Cheeks. The one who came into my life blindly and changed it from top to bottom in the best way possible. You show and tell me daily how much I am worth and what I deserve. Yeah, we have our silly arguments, but at the end of the day you got me and I got you and that's all that matters. I remember the first time he walked into my house, dreds all in his face, super quiet, yet walked up to each and every person and shook their hand and introduced himself. He is different than the stereotypical Auburn football player and he proves that every single day by the words and actions he displays to me and even my friends. I remember the day I asked him to ride home with me to grab something and he instantly froze in shock that I was taking him to my hometown of a 99% white population. I assured him it wasn't like that, but wanted my parents to meet the man that has had my back and will fight for me until the end. A billion thank yous to him for the countless cookout trips, "Moana" movie nights, Fortnite and PlayStation games, the embarrassing Snapchat videos exchanged, and for being the one I can call up to vent to any day of the week at any time of the day. He started at the bottom and he is finally becoming the butterfly he was supposed to be. It is almost time to fly and be who he was meant to be. Lots of love for him and who he is; never stepping out of character. 'Til we part, Imma hold him close and cherish every moment —good and bad.

All in all, every boy has made an impact on my life and taught me a lesson about love, yes even the "bad" boyfriends.
Hold on tight to the real ones and let whoever and whatever walk out when they want because God would never close one door without opening another. Appreciate the small things in life and always say more than less.

God's got you. Every moment you have is GOLD, you just don't realize it until it is gone — so enjoy it while you have it. Fight for what you love, but most importantly fight for who you love. Forever.