Dear Fibromyalgia

How are you old friend? Yes, I call you a friend. You have been around me more in the past four years than any person, place, or thing has been. You are the reason that I wake up in the morning, but you sometimes are the reason why I can’t go to sleep at night. The days I wake up and can’t walk I know you are right there wanting to say hello. You like to say hi in times of stress and high emotion, but I know you are still there during times of happiness and excitement. You know all of my deep dark secrets and I know that you are always there to listen. You are the not best friend I never wanted. But, I don’t hate you. Shocking I know, but I don’t. Having you around has shaped the way I see the world and also turned me into the person I am today. And… you know what? I quite like who I am! I am loud, proud, and in your face person. I like to throw truth bombs out like it’s no tomorrow. I am the weird, stubborn, and strange. I have a lot more life wisdom than I could have ever wanted. Without you in my life I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

Do I wish you caused me so much discomfort and pain? No, absolutely not! But, I know that is the curse I have to bear having you around. Some people don’t look at me like I am actually sick and or diseased. They just see me as some thick, fat girl, that needs to stop eating fast food. But, Fibro begin you and me I have not had fast food in years. The only type of exercise I can do because of you Fibro is Yoga, which I love, but what about lifting wieghts and cardio? Well I guess don’t count me in for cardio anymore.

Truly once you and I have met my life has changed for the worst and better. Maybe I am more compassionate towards people? Maybe I am really a workaholic (even though I have always been one). Maybe I have learned the importance of taking naps? (Naps are love, naps are life) Even though I didn’t ever want you around with my muscles atrophying and my exhaustion mixed in with it. Doctors putting me on different medications and people throwing first, second, and third judgement glances. Not knowing that when I wake up in the morning if I am able to move or not. Knowing that i will never be a normal human with a normal life. Even though I know all of this, I am still not mad that I have you around. Because the amount of humility and humbling you have given me as well worth it. So friend, here's to another lifetime together.

XOXO

Leah