The other day my brother and I were shopping together and he wouldn’t hold my purse just for a moment while I locked the car because he didn’t want to look ‘‘girly’ and I’m wondering where this epidemic of being inherently terrified of appearing feminine came from, because it isn’t just prevalent in men.
I see it in the everyday imaginary narrative of ‘that girl’. You know, the one that is diagrammed to be platinum blond, hates dirt, only wears dresses, and loves the color pink. The one who cares about reality tv or sewing or color scheme or makeup or hygiene. She probably doesn’t play video games and played with barbies when she was little. The thing is, today’s red scarlet letter should really be an F, for feminine.
Girls fear being girly, men fear being girly, we all have this ingrained thing that tells us to squint our eyes and scoff at something ‘that girl’ would like, because society perceives women as less than, as weak, and anything associated with femininity also bears the same searing negative mark.
Men aren’t allowed to cry, teenage boys can’t show physical platonic affection towards their bros, and little boys can’t play with little girl toys. As a society we have sectioned and divided our sexes into such small pigeon holed areas that if we stray from expected stereotypes we will be subjected to social ridicule; we ridicule ourselves.
I am so tired of these rigid rules, and I am tired of us, as a generation of kids who are growing up in such an influential period in American history, shunning and making fun of people who are breaking gender roles. Grow up and stop fearing femininity. Don’t frown at delicate things, don’t equate women and things stereotyped to them with weakness.
Boys: you are allowed to be soft; to have feelings. This world is large and beautiful and you are not immortal, so embrace and be what you want to be, deep inside. There aren’t any rules except the ones you make for yourself. And I know that often those are the hardest to break.
Girls: give it up, stop hating the girl who wears a lot of makeup just because she wears a lot of makeup. Wear what you want, be as girly and empowered as you want to be, because the world is your oyster, and you were made to conquer it all, no matter if you love pink, or play in the mud, or even both. There aren’t any rules except the ones you make for yourself. And I know that often those are the hardest to break.
Addressing this fear of feminine qualities, and breaking down gender roles, is going to fill this world with more love, empathy, and understanding, because once the barriers that have separated the sexes are flimsy and nonexistent, we can live equal in a way we were never able to before.
Girls, and boys, and any other gender that is identified with; we need to stand together, and understand each other. That’s what is going to kill gender roles and femmephobia. That is what will help make our world a better one to live in. Stop being afraid to step out of the box society shoved you in; stop being afraid to live.
