When it comes to people giving me advice, I tend to have selective hearing. Or, maybe I should say selective listening. For anyone who knew me in high school, you knew I was that girl who was “so over everything.” I started going on college visits in eighth grade. I went out and visited the same four schools in California literally five times, and that isn’t even where I ended up. I visited over twelve different universities from coast to coast because I insisted on broadening my horizons as far as they could possibly stretch. I had senioritis as a freshman. I wanted to get as far away as possible. I counted down the days till graduation; I was so ready to leave my hometown behind.
This is where my selective listening comes in. I thought my world was shattered when that stupid boy broke my heart. I thought it was the end of all things good in the world when I got a B on a test. I thought high school would never end. Don’t get me wrong, though. I was involved in just about everything in high school, and I truly felt like I was at the best school in the country. I had an amazing high school experience, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of wanting to see my hometown in my rearview mirror and never look back. My parents, my teachers, my friends, they all told me I’d miss it as soon as I got to college. I thought they were absolutely insane.
It wasn’t until recently that my friends and I were all sitting around talking about how old we are. Now, nineteen is obviously a young age. We are just as much youth as a twelve-year-old, if you ask your grandparents. But to that twelve year old, we’re adults. And there is so much truth in that.
It was one of those things that seem incredibly obvious, but it had never really come across my mind till someone brought it up. Our lives basically consist of milestones. When you were little, you thought turning double digits was just about the craziest thing ever. Once high school rolled around, you couldn’t wait to have your first car. If you were like me, you looked forward to graduation when you were about 14. Now that we’re in college, we have getting our first job to look forward to. We have marriage and starting a family to look forward to. Some of us even have Pinterest boards dedicated to just about all these things. But then what? Once we reach all those milestones and put all those stupid pins to use, if we’re even lucky enough to make it that far, what’s next? Well, I guess we then look for those milestones in our kid’s lives. We then retire. Oh, and then we all die at some point. Morbid, I know. But all of this is hitting me just now. I’m not looking forward to my mid-life crisis because I think I am experiencing a quarter-life crisis. Is that even a thing? It most definitely is.
It affects anyone usually in college or in their early to mid twenties. This is such a crucial time in our lives, and we don’t really realize it because we’re too busy worried about which frat party to hit up next. So much of this time period shapes the rest of our lives. It may hit you when you’re on a pre-med track, sitting in biology class, realizing you hate science. Or it may hit you when you graduate college, move to a new city, and realize how alone you are. Then you secretly wish you were back in high school, with your biggest problem at the moment: that stupid boy who broke your heart. If you’re like me, you stare at your dog and think to yourself “man, I wish I had your life.” And you can’t even listen to Kenny Chesney songs anymore without getting emotional because most of his songs consist of lines like “it was Labor Day weekend I was seventeen,” or “I go back to the feel of a 50 yard line,” just to name a few. Your faith is an emotional rollercoaster. One day, you’re thanking the Lord for all He has given you, but you catch yourself yelling at Him the next. When did life get so hard?
Coming from the girl who thought she was above enjoying high school, I am here to say that I miss it. I miss high school. I miss arguing with my parents about my curfew. I miss having my big brother around to threaten any boy that pursued me. I miss Friday night lights, assemblies, driving around the same streets over and over again, the adrenaline of sneaking out of study hall to go get a Slurpee from the gas station down the road, and I miss everyone I love being at my fingertips. I remember during Christmas break seeing girls around town in their sorority t-shirts, seeing my many upperclassmen boy crushes at the gym trying to work off all the beer they had consumed their first semester of college. Well now I’m that girl. When did I get so old?
If you’re still in high school while reading this, just know that your problems are so temporary. If you’re in college reading this, just know you aren’t alone. If you’re out of college, well, I can’t say much on that one since I’m not that old. All I know is that I’m catching a glimpse of a quarter life crisis a little earlier than most people do. I turn twenty in a matter of months, meaning my teenage years will be over. I wish someone would’ve told me how much I would truly miss it all. Actually, multiple people did tell me. I just forgot to listen.
I guess what I’m getting at is that it’s okay. It’s okay to admit that you miss high school. It doesn’t mean you’re admitting you peaked at eighteen, it doesn’t mean you hate college, and it definitely doesn’t mean you’re stuck in the past. It just means you’re just not realizing how good you had it. But when we’re out of college, we’re going to be saying the same things about these four years. So take a moment to thank God if you’ve made it this far without getting arrested, stuck out on the streets, or without any serious injuries. Our parents are grandparents would probably give their right arm to be our age again. We have it pretty good, and it’s time we start realizing it.
