To the student who does not feel at "home" yet…

We have all heard someone declare that college is the best years of your life and that your four-year university will become your second home. We have heard the stories of people who fell in love with the guy they met freshman year, the women who have nothing but pride for their former sorority, the people who "bleed maroon and white" and those who can not wait for their kids to attend one day as they did. We have all experienced people who seem like they have the perfect story of college life. Honestly, the stories go on and on about how great college is. We hear how it changes your life and how you grow into someone new from the experience. But if you are like me, being at a university does not leave you feeling sentimental yet.

The truth is I am struggling to feel apart of my university and so many others are also. Feeling at home is not a universal theme for all first-year students (or even second or third or fourth-year students). I am learning to accept that feeling and recognize that is it is not a sign of failure. I am also learning that feelings change and sometimes it takes a while to feel comfortable.

We all have reasons why it does not feel like "home". I let the time crunch of being a transfer student and the smaller amount of time at university stress me out. I know other's who desperately wanted to be at a certain university, but ended up somewhere else. I also know other's who still are not sure they are at the right university yet. Honeslty, there is a lot of reasons why you might not feel at home yet.

There is also the chance that you have not given it time to. If that is your reason, you can likely change how you feel. If we are being honest with ourselves, our relationships and memories took time in the past. You likely did not wake up one day and have a best friend with years of memories with. You had to take time to make those memories and become best friends. When you look back at your friendships from your transfer school or high school, did those relationships happen overnight? Probably not. It likely took months of small talk, late nights, the occasional disagreement and ordinary days to cultivate the relationships. Why would this year and school be different? Memories and relationships take time!

Another reason I have seen people struggle to feel home is because they are not involved and that is also very fixable. They go to class and go to work and then to bed. They do not have a connection to the city or campus. If you are willing to put yourself out there: you will meet new people, grow as a person, make memories, network, and learn your campus better. You will be surprised at the positive effect of learning the secret spots on campus to study, the best places to park, the best places to eat at on campus and in town, the best roads to take and how to make your way around campus can have on feeling like you are at home. There is so many great ways to get involved, all it takes is a little initiative.

But honestly even if you never feel at home and these things do not work, remember it is okay. Not everyone has to fall in love and bleed their school colors. You are not a failure and there is nothing wrong with you for not feeling at home. It simply means you have somewhere else called you instead. Embrace your experiences and the call of home.