Home Doesn't Feel Like Home After College

Home Doesn't Feel Like Home After College

Every year, it's a little different and seems less like the home we used to know.
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Every year, we make the trudge home for break. And every year, it's a little different and seems less like the home we used to know. Let's face it: we're growing up. This feeling is extremely bittersweet.

Being at home was something that once felt so comfortable, and still does... kinda. This was the house you grew up in, completed elementary in, graduated high school in, and then left behind for college. You created so many relationships under this same roof. You had awesome friendships, relationships with your family, and boyfriends/girlfriends. But each time you go home, you start to realize how each one of these relationships you had in high school, tends to change.

You find out who's worth spending your only free day with, or even hour. Going home tends to be hectic as you try to make time for every single person left behind in your hometown. Spending time with your family is automatically the first thing you have/want to do. Let's face it, its the most important. Next, your old high school friends. This includes some people who never left and some in the same boat as you returning home from college on a holiday break.

You get so stressed trying to make time for all of these people, but ask yourself one question. How many of these people text or call me regularly and check up on me? How about reaching out to you to tell you how proud you make them, or that you're killin' the college game? How many of these people do I do the same for? Is it worth spending my only free hour with them? Or stressing about what they might think if I don't sacrifice my time to see them?

I'm here to tell you to not feel bad. If anyone, including family, wants to be a part of your life, they will make the time. Anyone who loves you and cares for you will make it known. Going home shouldn't be a time of stress, but a time to relax.

Relationships back home will continue to change, and feel less like they used to, but that's OK.

Relationships with people back home are just different than the ones you have with your college friends, and that's OK. They're different because we're all in different chapters of our life. It's hard to relate to someone who never went to college and talk about things they have no idea about. It's hard to relate sometimes to their lives as their much different that ours, and that's OK.

Just because you don't get to spend time with someone from back home over break, doesn't mean you don't care. As we get older, we get busier. Adulting sucks, but having friends who understand that just because you don't reach out to them every time you're in town because your busy with family, and that you aren't "mad" at them or care/love them any less, are the ones worth keeping.

These friends are the mature ones, the ones who understand that life is one big mess, and if you called them out of the blue one day, they'd pick up. People who make you feel drained or overwhelmed when a text from them pops up on your phone, let them go. Life is too short to feel stressed over someone taking up your time.

Going home will forever be different because of these relationships. I always say, it's not the place itself, but the people. Cherish the healthy, happy relationships you have back at home, and let the ones that are anything less, go.

Cover Image Credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/men-s-white-button-up-dress-shirt-708440/

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Don't Feel Bad For Me When I Say I'm In A Long-Distance Relationship

There's no need for anyone to say, "oh, that sucks" or "that's annoying" or "I don't know how you do it" because I really do love my relationship.

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When I first went out with my boyfriend, I wasn't expecting anything to come from it. He was in the Marines, stationed in South Carolina, and it was just a stupid Tinder date because I was bored and I thought he was funny and cute over Snapchat. Not only did he live an eight-hour drive away, but he was also heading out of the country for Christmas. I never thought I would ever hear from him again after I got into my car and drove back home.

But, I did, and a year and a half later, going on that coffee date was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Right from the start, I knew if he and I were going to date, we would have to face a long-distance relationship for roughly two to three years- whether I finished school first or he got out of the military was up to fate. For us, being apart is normal. We're so used to talking through FaceTime rather than face to face and not seeing each other for weeks on end is more familiar than hugging. We've probably blown more kisses through the phone than having had real kisses.

Would I love to be just a minutes drive away from him?

Absolutely.

Would I trade my relationship for anything else?

Never.

There's no reason for you to feel bad for me when I tell you I'm in a long distance relationship.

There's no need for anyone to say, "oh, that sucks' or "that's annoying" or "I don't know how you do it" because I really do love my relationship.

Being away from each other is just something we do. It lets us be independent, focus on work and school, but still allows us to support each other. Sure, long-distance relationships aren't for everyone, but couples make them work. No relationship is normal and like every other relationship, it takes patience, learning, and commitment. The only difference between a 'normal' relationship and a long-distance relationship is is that our 'date nights' consist of eating dinner together over FaceTime instead.

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