Home Doesn't Feel Like Home After College

Home Doesn't Feel Like Home After College

Every year, it's a little different and seems less like the home we used to know.
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Every year, we make the trudge home for break. And every year, it's a little different and seems less like the home we used to know. Let's face it: we're growing up. This feeling is extremely bittersweet.

Being at home was something that once felt so comfortable, and still does... kinda. This was the house you grew up in, completed elementary in, graduated high school in, and then left behind for college. You created so many relationships under this same roof. You had awesome friendships, relationships with your family, and boyfriends/girlfriends. But each time you go home, you start to realize how each one of these relationships you had in high school, tends to change.

You find out who's worth spending your only free day with, or even hour. Going home tends to be hectic as you try to make time for every single person left behind in your hometown. Spending time with your family is automatically the first thing you have/want to do. Let's face it, its the most important. Next, your old high school friends. This includes some people who never left and some in the same boat as you returning home from college on a holiday break.

You get so stressed trying to make time for all of these people, but ask yourself one question. How many of these people text or call me regularly and check up on me? How about reaching out to you to tell you how proud you make them, or that you're killin' the college game? How many of these people do I do the same for? Is it worth spending my only free hour with them? Or stressing about what they might think if I don't sacrifice my time to see them?

I'm here to tell you to not feel bad. If anyone, including family, wants to be a part of your life, they will make the time. Anyone who loves you and cares for you will make it known. Going home shouldn't be a time of stress, but a time to relax.

Relationships back home will continue to change, and feel less like they used to, but that's OK.

Relationships with people back home are just different than the ones you have with your college friends, and that's OK. They're different because we're all in different chapters of our life. It's hard to relate to someone who never went to college and talk about things they have no idea about. It's hard to relate sometimes to their lives as their much different that ours, and that's OK.

Just because you don't get to spend time with someone from back home over break, doesn't mean you don't care. As we get older, we get busier. Adulting sucks, but having friends who understand that just because you don't reach out to them every time you're in town because your busy with family, and that you aren't "mad" at them or care/love them any less, are the ones worth keeping.

These friends are the mature ones, the ones who understand that life is one big mess, and if you called them out of the blue one day, they'd pick up. People who make you feel drained or overwhelmed when a text from them pops up on your phone, let them go. Life is too short to feel stressed over someone taking up your time.

Going home will forever be different because of these relationships. I always say, it's not the place itself, but the people. Cherish the healthy, happy relationships you have back at home, and let the ones that are anything less, go.

Cover Image Credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/men-s-white-button-up-dress-shirt-708440/

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To The Grandmothers Who Made Us The Women We Are Today

Sincerely, the loving granddaughters.
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The relationship between a grandmother and her granddaughter is something so uniquely special and something to be treasured forever.

Your grandma loves you like you are her own daughter and adores you no matter what. She is the first person you run to when you have a problem with your parents and she never fails to grace you with the most comforting advice.

She may be guilty of spoiling you rotten but still makes sure to stress the importance of being thankful and kind.

Your grandma has most likely lived through every obstacle that you are experiencing now as a young adult and always knows just exactly what to say.

She grew up in another generation where things were probably much harder for young women than they are today.

She is a walking example of perseverance, strength, and grace who you aim to be like someday.

Your grandma teaches you the lessons she had to learn the hard way because she does not want you to make the same mistakes she did when she was growing up.

Her hugs never fail to warm your heart, her smile never fails to make you smile, and her laugh never fails to brighten your day.

She inspires you to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

You only hope that one day you can be the mother and grandmother she was to you.

A piece of girl’s heart will forever belong to her grandma that no one could ever replace.

She is the matriarch of your family and is the glue that holds you all together.

Grandmothers play such an important role in helping their granddaughters to grow into strong, intelligent, kind women.

She teaches you how to love and how to forgive.

Without the unconditional love of your grandma, you would not be the woman you are today.

To all of the grandmothers out there, thank you for being you.

Sincerely,

the loving granddaughters

Cover Image Credit: Carlie Konuch

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The pros about long distance relationships that no one has ever told you

Seriously guys, a long distance relationship doesn't have to be a death sentence.

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"I'm actually really glad my boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship right now. I'm not sure if we would still be together if we lived in the same city."

When I say that, whether it's to adults or fellow college students, the person always looks totally shocked. Their jaw drops, and I can basically see their thoughts racing. They jump to conclusions and assume that we have a bad relationship, don't really love each other, or are cheating while away at school. But honestly, none of those things are happening. I love my boyfriend immensely, and I miss him every single day we're apart. While I know that's true, it doesn't mean that I don't also know that being in a long distance relationship is actually a really good thing for us right now.

Think about it; what is one of the main reasons that relationships end when you're young? Because you want to learn what it's like to be without that person and grow as an individual. I'm sorry, but that sounds exactly like a long distance relationship to me. My boyfriend and I both have the "freedom" to explore what it is like to be without each other while still remaining together. I know myself, and I know that if I was at the same school as him, I would have relied on him a lot more and wouldn't have taken the chances that I did today. Rather than asking the nice girl from class to get lunch, I would have just gotten it with him.

Rather than spending a day studying alone in the library, I probably would have invited him to come along. Of course, there's nothing wrong with these things, but because my long distance relationship took my sweet, strong, comfortable security blanket away from me, I was forced to face the world on my own and experience what it felt like to be single, without ever actually becoming single.

Now, when I explain this to people they usually follow by asking, "if you can live so well without him, what makes you think you guys would ever work long term?" To that I explain, just because I'm in a long distance relationship doesn't mean I'd choose it if I had the choice. I still cry every time we say goodbye, and just because I see the benefits of it, doesn't mean that I wish I had the luxury of grabbing lunch between classes with my boyfriend or seeing him every day. Our long distance relationship simply eliminates the question of who I am without him because that's my reality almost every day. I do know though that, without him next to me, I am taking more chances and learning more about myself at this crucial time of my life. With each new experience, a new friend made, new self-revelation, I know that he's only a phone call away with all the emotional support possible to help me learn about myself while we're together but apart.

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