I was tired after making the four-hour trek back to my college town where I would be spending the majority of my summer. It was getting late. The girl I was supposed to be living with said she would not be back to let me into the apartment for another hour and a half. I hadn't been in the place yet and the keys were left for me on the dresser, so I had to wait.
There was a McDonald's about a half a mile down the road from my new place. I parked and decided I would wait here until she came back to let me in. I sat down with a pen and paper and iced coffee in my hands.
Making lists is sort of my thing. A little time passed. I was the only person in McDonald's at 8:30 at night.
A man walked over a started talking to me. I made no judgments. He kinda rambled about I don't even know, but I had pity on him. Maybe he was lonely, so I keep the conversation going. But something in the back of my stomach felt off.
Within five minutes of the conversation, this man began to give me his sob story and why he needs money. I felt very uncomfortable. I was sitting alone with a homeless man, and he was asking me for money.
Then he asked me to buy him food, so I agreed. After I got in line and ordered he kept trying to add more food to the order.
The managers pulled me aside and told me never to buy him food again because he always asks people for money and food and was not in fact homeless just jobless and a burden on society.
I felt so stupid. Here I was being suckered into buying him food. I actually felt good about what I was doing, but it turns out I was just another one of the fools who fell into his trap.
When I got out of the line with food in hand, several more homeless men seemed to lurk about. One of them looked me up and down and said "You are so beautiful," in the creepiest way imaginable.
He had a whole group outside, and I knew it was time for me to leave. I felt very unsafe. On the way out I told him I knew that dollar general was hiring, gave him directions, and encouraged him to apply. He told me "Nah, I am too old to work". Then he took the food and walked away.
This is not the first time my bleeding heart has lead me to feel dumb.
Another time I let a homeless woman into my car because she told me she needed a ride. YES, I LET HER IN MY CAR.
I know looking back that sounds ridiculous, but at the time I was just trying to be the good Samaritan. It also happened on my school's campus, so I wasn't in the mindset of danger. She ended up lying to me about where she needed to go, and she tried to take me to an ATM to give her money.
At the end of it all, I feel as though that man in McDonald's is the straw that broke the camels back. I realize now that not everyone has good intentions. As much as it pains me to see people on the street I will not give them money anymore.
Instead, I will donate to homeless shelters and organizations that can help these people, and I will probably not go to an empty McDonald's late at night anymore.
In truth, I am probably not helping them at all. I am teaching the homeless that using people is the way to go and enabling bad choices.
I am sure that there are many homeless people who are trying to get out of their situation, but many that have approached me have simply taken advantage of my willingness to give.
Maybe giving to the homeless is not as charitable or beneficial as first believed it to be.
