I do not like being reliant on people. However, many of you might think of me otherwise. As many of you know, I am nineteen years old and do not have my driver's license. Weird, right? I am used to getting questions on why, and I want answer them and to show people my point of view.

When I was younger, I thought I would love driving. It would be so freeing and fun, to be independent, to be able to do things on my own. I went and got my temporary ID on my fifteenth and a half birthday, which in Ohio is the first day you're allowed. I had already signed up to take the driver's education course at the high school, and I was ready to go, hoping I would be able to get my license in six months exactly.

Then, my views and opinions began to change. During driver's education I heard horror stories of car accidents, life altering injuries, and death. I saw pictures of people on the road after being thrown out of a car. I saw how powerful that piece of machine was. I suddenly realized getting your license wasn't just the freedom to go wherever, to be an 'adult'. I realized it was a privilege, the opportunity to drive a machine so powerful that it could end a person's life or change it forever.

At this point I also realized I had an anxiety disorder which did not make things for me any easier. While most people saw driving just something you did, I saw it as a giant trap of things that could go wrong, of things I could do wrong. I began to get anxious about driving and would have anxiety attacks as I laid in my bed thinking about all the possibilities that laid ahead of me. I would break down and shake, not ever wanting to sit behind the wheel of something that powerful.

Yes, I understand many of you may think of this as a silly fear of a girl who can't get over her anxiety. However, I do not want to put other people's lives in danger just because there is a certain 'age' at which were supposed to get our license. Yes, sixteen is the age when you can get your license but that doesn't mean you have to get it then.

I am very sorry to all of the people who have driven me around over the years, but please know how much that has meant to me. I do not like to rely on others. I want to be independent. However, that is not safe for my mental health, and I really appreciate all the support you've given me.

So yes, I'm used to all the friends, relatives, etc. asking me 'When are you going to get your license?" and yes, I understand that it is social norm to have your license at age sixteen, but please understand that it would not be healthy for me to sit behind the wheel at this point in my life. I will sit behind the wheel eventually, as I know it is necessary for me to be successful in life. However, I do not needed the added pressure from the people around me.

Driving is my own obstacle that I will someday overcome. It is not a common obstacle and that is why I needed people to know what I'm going through. To know that every time I think about sitting behind the wheel I get a panic attack. To know that I do not feel comfortable enough to be in that much control.

So yes, I have a fear of driving. But it's real, and I really need people to understand that.