Everyday life is stressful (this is college, after all). But one of the most stressful parts of life, to me, is the fear of falling behind.

Falling behind doesn’t seem like something that a person would list as one of their greatest fears. People fear dying. People fear the dark. People fear loneliness, heights, snakes, closed spaces, public speaking. All for good reasons.

But for the longest time, I feared falling behind. And honestly, I still do sometimes.

I worry that everyone else at my university knows what they’re going to do when they get older; at the very least, people know that they’re going to succeed no matter what specific career they pick within their major. But I question every day whether what I’m doing is what I’m good at, and is something that I can do after I graduate.

I worry that I’m not good enough for the friends that I have. It sounds silly. But I have such genuinely amazing, down-to-earth friends that sometimes it doesn’t really feel like I deserve them.

I worry that I’m not doing enough. Just in general. I’m not studying enough, but at the same time I’m not thinking about myself enough. I’m not doing enough to make my college experience fun but at the same time I’m not doing enough to make my resume stand out.

But as scary as falling behind is, falling apart is worse.

Holding everything inside of you until you feel like you’re about to fall apart is maybe one of the worst feelings I’ve experienced in my time at college. It can be very hard to admit that you’re not fine. There are so many problems that people in college deal with, including stress, anxiety, depression, loneliness, and more.

If you feel like you are falling apart, talk to someone. It can be anyone. A friend, a parent, a family member, or even a therapist. Everyone needs a little help. It’s better to fall behind than it is to fall apart. And this I know all too well.

Falling behind isn’t a permanent thing, no matter what you tell yourself. Sometimes you just need a little outside perspective or help, whatever form that help takes.

If you are struggling, don’t struggle alone. Try to find things that make you happy and things that keep you grounded no matter what your situation. It can be a person, a certain type of music, a Bible quote, a book, a TV show, or a slew of anything else.

The fear of falling behind is scary and can be paralyzing. But falling apart is worse. Take healthy, baby steps to make yourself feel better. It’s worth it, I promise.

You can do it. I believe in you.