Before getting into the heart of things, let me give you a little background if you don't know me personally. On December 9th, 2016 I was at work here in Starkville, and I got a horrible call from my older sister and she "Everything is okay but Duke attacked daddy and Cory had to shoot him off of him and he's being airlifted to UMMC because he has to have surgery on his face and head." Duke was our almost two-year-old Anatolian Shepherd, who was my favorite dog we've ever had, until this day. Later we figured out that Sky, who was a Boarder Collie, also joined in on the attack. So we also lost her that day.

She said a lot of other things that I don't remember, but you get the gist of it. I tried to stay at work, but I couldn't hold myself together, and the people I was working with that day and my boss were kind enough to let me leave. (Shout out to the Little Dooey in Starkville, aka the best BBQ on earth.)

So I call my boyfriend, Jonathan, and he was sweet enough to drive me two hours to the hospital. I get there and hug my family who had been there since around 12:30, cry with them, and the first words out my mom's mouth was "He's going to be okay baby." I knew that, but to hear it sure was nice.

We sat there from around 2 until 9pm before we got to see him, because he didn't want any of us to see his torn up face. Thankfully he didn't have to have surgery, he just had to have hundreds and hundreds of stitches.

So thats the short version. My dad is okay, and his face is almost completely healed now.

This picture was taken the day after. He had stitches all over the side of his head as well as both of his ears. The picture from the day of was definitely worse, but for obvious reasons, I'll spare your eyes haha.

I have no doubt in my mind that it was 100% God who spared my dad's life. I have no doubt that it was God who allowed my dad to continuously fight off Duke as best as he physically could. And I have no doubt in my mind that He gave Cory the ability to shoot so perfectly and so quickly in my dad's moment of need.

Fast forward a few weeks...

My sister, nephew, her husband and his family were all flying home from a fun vacation in Miami/Disney World. They were flying out of Ft. Lauderdale. You know, the airport where there was an active shooter? They were there that day. Their lives could have been lost. But God spared them as well, and boy am I thankful.

But in the weeks after my dad's attack, and after the shooting, I began to realize the stress and anxiety my family has been put through barely a month apart, and thankfulness wasn't what I was feeling. I felt angry. And I hate that, but its true.

My dad lost his college ring in the midst of the chaos. On Christmas Eve Eve, I was looking for it in hopes that I could five it and give it to him for Christmas, and I literally said, out loud, "Are you kidding me? The least You could do is let him have his ring again."

Really Carlianne???? That's pretty heartbreaking and embarrassing to admit. My dad could be blind, deaf, or worst of all, he could be dead. But God spared his life, and I have the nerve to say something like that? WOW.

Later that night I just cried and cried when I realized what came out of my mouth, how I hadn't been praying, or reading my bible during a time in my life where I should have been doing it more than ever.

So this article is for those who also go through feelings of doubt and anger toward the One who is constantly working things out for our good, no matter how we may feel about it in the moment.

These are some of the verses that God showing me He was always there and His continuous love for me, despite whatever I was feeling.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or dismayed, because the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"The Lord, He goes before you. He will be with you. He will not fail you nor forsake you. Do not fear." Deuteronomy 31:8

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for peace and not for evil, to give you a cute and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2

"The enemy does not come but to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." John 10:10

"We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

"In all things, we are more than conquerors through Him who loves us." Romans 8:37

I hope that these verses will lift you up today and everyday if you are reading this and you are also struggling with doubt, fear, anger, or hurt.

God sent His only Son to die an extremely horrifying death.

For me. For you. For all of us.

And if He never blessed me again, that alone would be more than I ever deserved. So no matter what, I should never doubt His love for me.

Lots of good things has come out of this. Because of what happened, and because my dad shared his story on Facebook and it spread like wildfire, so many people have messaged him, thanking him because they could have been attacked by their dogs as well if they hadn't read my dads story.

I never make New Years Resolutions, but for 2017, I did.

My goal for this year is to be someone who loves unconditionally and unapologetically, to be someone who is more intentional with my relationships, and to always have the kind of faith that could move mountains.

God is good, friends. And I pray that I will never doubt that again.

Here's the most recent picture I have with him, and my nephew, on January 15th as we were celebrating his 54th birthday.

Thanks for reading.