There's Nothing Wrong With Wanting To Fall In Love With Life Before Falling In Love With Someone Else

There's Nothing Wrong With Wanting To Fall In Love With Life Before Falling In Love With Someone Else

I want to spread love and positivity and light, on my own. I want to be my own inspiration, and proud of my accomplishments, before I decide to share that with someone.

645
views

I want to start off by saying, this isn't going to be an (annoying and typical) venting session about how I'm a powerful, independent woman who doesn't need a man. Not that I'm not powerful or independent, but this is going to be more about something I've learned about myself over the years, and maybe it could help other individuals in their dating lives.

I've dated quite a bit, and by date, I don't mean relationships. I mean, I've gone on to see someone after a first date for 2-5 months without putting a label on it until I realized I was totally incompatible with them. I've had some of the best dating experiences, and tons of fond memories I will tell my future grandchildren one day. I've dated the lead singer of my favorite band, I've dated CEO's, I've dated teachers, some of the most beautiful people I've ever met inside and out, but yet, still can't say for certain that I've ever been in love.

A lot of people close to me think quite the contrary. They insist I've been in love, from the outside looking in, but I personally just don't think I've ever crossed that boundary. I think I've been in lust, I think I've thought very highly of some individuals and have had experiences that were unique and beautiful, but definitely never felt in love.

It's not like I haven't met someone I couldn't see a future with. I've definitely had that feeling. But I think ultimately, I just feel more "me" when I'm not dating anyone. I feel less stressed, my anxiety is lower, and I feel extremely more passionate and driven in whatever it is I'm putting my energy into. I haven't ever been able to balance working on myself and my goals, while simultaneously including someone else in my world, without getting distracted. And for some people, maybe even lots of people, that just might be what falling in love is all about.

Combining both individuals worlds in harmony and understanding that growth on both ends is a part of the connection and time together will determine whether or not that love you share is meant to last a lifetime (or whatever your view is on love and how long it lasts).

I think the concept of falling in love is beautiful. I can't even imagine how lovely it must feel to wake up next to someone you share a special connection with and know through and through that person is meant for you. That must be the most secure and comforting feeling or concept to some. But to me, the most secure and comforting feeling is knowing what I'm doing with my life and knowing I'm working 100% on bettering myself and my future. And this took a while for me to learn about myself. I always had a feeling something was off, and I blamed it on the other person. But I'm pretty confident that the problem all along was myself, and my own personal boundaries.

With that said, that doesn't mean I want to be alone. It doesn't mean I want to stop dating and meeting new people. It just means, I'm not sure if I'm ready to let myself cross the boundary between enjoying someone's company and having fun and sharing secrets and experiences together into, having that with the same person for years to come or however long that relationship is supposed to last (assuming that you date the person you're in love with).

To me, there's always been something beautiful and comforting with leaving things unsaid. Especially in my romantic life. I cherish every single moment I've shared with individuals I'd say I've gotten very close to loving and even tried to bring my wall down and include them into my life in that way, but I'm not ready. I can't truly love someone else until I really love the life I lead, on my own. Singularly.

I do think there's some truth to the sentiment "you have to learn to love yourself before you can fully love others." While the situation at hand isn't about self-love, I think it holds true to just overall loving the life you lead and being comfortable with your place in the universe. I just feel like, I have no idea what I can possibly bring to the table if I'm not 100% comfortable in who I am and whatI'mm doing. I want to spread love and positivity and light, on my own. I want to be my own inspiration, and proud of my accomplishments, before I decide to share that with someone.

On top of that, I'm still young. Whether or not I fully agree with young equating to having a lot of time (I don't), I still think I have a lot of time to "do me" so to speak. I still wanna flirt with strangers i'll never meet again, I wanna serenade the person driving next to me at a red light, and yes, I'll definitely go on a date with you (that means free food) (just kidding, sort of).

I just love to connect, but only in the moment. And to those that may say if its the right person none of this shit matters, maybe take into consideration that kind of love your describing (in my eyes) is being hopelessly in love and devoted to someone. I don't want to let down all the things I feel passionate about just for one connection. I want a more hopeful kind of love with someone, one day, but not anytime soon.

Popular Right Now

11 Struggles Every Nice Girl Understands

Because sometimes it's the worst.
2107
views

We are all taught to be kind-hearted human beings. Nonetheless, some of us seem to follow through more than others: we're called the "nice girls." But being the nice girl isn't all hearts and smiles — in fact, sometimes it's more trouble than it's worth.

1. You take on way more than you can handle because the word "no" is not a part of your vocabulary.

2. When you actually do have the courage to say no, you feel like the worst person in the world.

3. People take advantage of you like it's their job.

4. Your kindness is often mistaken for weakness — people neglect to realize that even the nice girls have backbones.

5. You entertain every Tom, Dick and Harry because you don't have the heart to say, "F*** off!"

6. You feel that you need to keep everyone around you happy.

7. Always forgetting to keep yourself happy in the process.

8. Sometimes you wonder if your purpose in life is simply to please everyone around you.

9. You can never lie because everyone knows that high-pitched tone you get when you try.

10. You keep most of your problems to yourself because you couldn't possibly trouble someone else with your feelings.

11. Yet, you're the master of listening to other people's issues.

Cover Image Credit: tumblr.com

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

5 Signs Your Boyfriend Might Be A Dirty Rotten Cheater

Now that we have Valentine's Day behind us, I finally feel comfortable bursting your precious love bubble and giving you the real tea on how all of those things you're questioning about your boyfriend are probably just signs he's cheating on you.

74
views

I just spent the last week with my jaw on the floor after the discovery that my best friend spent the better part of 2 years with a guy who was actually cheating ( a lot ) basically the entire length of their relationship. And now that we have Valentine's Day behind us, I finally feel comfortable bursting your precious love bubble and giving you the real tea on how all of those things you're questioning about your boyfriend are probably just signs he's cheating on you. If you encounter any of the following 5 signs, then girl you better get the hell outta dodge.

1. You NEVER get the invite to family gatherings.

Holidays

Brunch with the fam? He's not calling you. Christmas Eve at Aunt Sheryl's? He's not calling you. His sister's birthday party? He's definitely not calling you. It may not seem like a big deal at first, but if he has met your mom, your dad, and your cousins and still isn't inviting you to come along, it's probably because he doesn't want his mom to get confused that he had a totally different girl over last week.

2. He can't stand you being anywhere near his phone.

Cheater's Phone

I would think this one is an obvious red flag, but you'd be surprised how many people believe guys who say they just want you to "respect their privacy." If he is constantly texting, snapping and shoving his phone into his pocket immediately after hitting that lock screen, you may very well be in for a world of hurt. If it's going off at 2 AM, well girl, I shouldn't have to say more to convince you he's cheating.

3. You rarely go out in public.

Dating

I know, I know, he's told you a hundred times that he's just a homebody and would rather be snuggled up watching "Catfish" with you than going out anywhere, but that's probably because he is just scared you guys will run into his other girlfriend. If you do end up going out, it's always out of town or something loud and crowded like a concert where you guys would be hard to spot.

4. He NEVER wants to post about you two on social media.

Cell Phone

He says stuff like "Oh, I just don't feel the need to publicize our love." or maybe "I have a crazy ex and I don't want her to harass you online." Those are both actually just lies. What he really wants to say is "I just don't want evidence and time stamps of our relationship in case I get caught." The best is when they tell you about how they like girls who are off the grid. Sounds like a cheater to me...

5. He's constantly accusing you of cheating.

Accusing

Most girls I know will chalk this up to him just being a jealous guy. But let me tell you something honey, nothing makes you more paranoid than a guilty conscious. If every time you two argue, it divulges into him saying he's not sure if he can trust you or that you have too many guy friends or that he wonders what you're doing on nights without him, well he's probably just manifesting his own fears.

There are no promises here that he is definitely cheating, and if you really trust your man then more power to you. But if any of these signs had you thinking about your own relationship, then I highly recommend that you move on to the next one girl. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, even fish who won't cheat on you!

Related Content

Facebook Comments