Stop Ignoring The Fact That Sam And Dean From 'Supernatural' Are Unhealthily Codependent

Stop Ignoring The Fact That Sam And Dean From 'Supernatural' Are Unhealthily Codependent

It's a problem and needs to stop being normalized.



Let me just start by saying that I love the show, all the people involved in making it, and especially the fans. "Supernatural" and the friends I've made through it has brought me from some dark places. So a big thank you to everyone who has made it possible for the show to be renewed for a 15th season!

15 years is a long time for a TV show. To put things in perspective, "Supernatural" first aired in 2005. YouTube was also created in 2005. When the show started, the characters were using flip phones. They used physical maps rather than GPS. "Supernatural" has been around quite a while.

In all this time though, I feel that there is one part of the show that all fans know, but are either ignoring or normalizing: Sam and Dean are clearly codependent. And I don't mean that they care about each other deeply or rely on each other for their safety. I mean they need to seriously consider relationship counseling because of their codependency. Let's analyze their relationship.


The first time we start to see this dependency is season one. In the episode "Faith" Sam finds a faith healer to heal Dean's failing heart. Rather than doing research to find out how the miracles are happening, Sam basically forces Dean to go get healed. And Dean does... at the cost of another's life. It turns out the faith healer's wife was using a reaper to "trade" lives. One person gets healed, while someone she deems unrighteous dies of whatever the afflicted person would have died from. We'll let Sam off the hook for this one. He was desperate and had no reason to suspect the faith healer, right?


Fast forward to the end of season two when Sam dies for the first time. After moping and decidedly not grieving, Dean runs off and sells his soul to the first demon he can find. He's given one year to live and then he will die and Sam will be all on his own. And thus starts the endless cycle of the brothers constantly sacrificing themselves for each other.

"Then let it end!"

Dean was literally ready to let the world end rather than do anything to try and save it because his brother died. "He was upset!" Fine. He gets a pass for wanting the world to end because he was depressed.

I still don't think that selling his soul was the right thing. Didn't he just say earlier that season that...

Yup. He did.

Oh, yeah! Dean was super upset when he found out that his dad had sacrificed himself to save Dean. In fact, Dean convinced himself that he shouldn't be alive and was furious when discovered the deal his father made. So why in the world did he change his mind so swiftly? Because he's unhealthily attached to Sam.

We can see Sam's dangerous attachment in season ten when he was willing to sacrifice the entire world to the Darkness to save his brother... even after he was explicitly told not to by several other people. He was told all around that it was a bad idea by all objective sources. Of course, Cas and Charlie agreed, they are close to the situation. But Death had nothing to gain or lose with the situation. Sam ignored all the warnings and damned the world anyway. That's...

You had one job.

"They're brothers!" I'm sorry, Alec, but if you die, I'm going to grieve like a normal human and eventually I'm sure I'll feel happiness again. And to my sister, Elizabeth, again, I love you dearly, but I'm not about to trade my life for yours. Call me selfish, but I actually value my life and don't see anything wrong with not desiring to sell my soul for someone. And to my closest friend Katie, I will miss you so much, but I will survive.

"They're all the other has!" Is that supposed to be an excuse? You're not supposed to have only one friend in life. That's super unhealthy for this very reason: if your one support dies, what do you do? They should have been making more friends... Oh, wait! They did! Why is Castiel not enough of a reason to live? They both needs wives.

"Are they supposed to just let the other rot in hell?" No. But didn't we learn in season eight another way to save a soul from hell?

"Their situation is different!" Yeah, but that doesn't make the message any less sketchy. I don't agree with the whole sacrificing yourself for the other. I believe in equality. That there is nothing that makes any one person more or less worthy of life than another. In the end, we are all equally dead.

I love the loyalty the boys have for each other, but I really don't think that they should be so dependent on each other and nothing else. People need to be able to function independently from each other. What else makes you unique? What else makes you, you?

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6 Places in New York City Every "Friends" Fan Needs To Visit

Grab a cup of coffee at Central Park.

As a "Friends" fanatic myself, I often wonder about the places in New York City featured in the various episodes and whether I could actually visit them. Most of them are fictional or no longer exist, but there are a few places you can go to reminisce about your favorite "Friends" moments. So, here are six places in New York City you definitely need to visit as a "Friends" fan.

1. The Apartment Building, Obviously

The building used for the exterior shot of the apartments in "Friends" is real and is located at 90 Bedford Street at the corner of Grove Street in Greenwich Village. It's an obvious must-see.

2. The Pulitzer Fountain

This is the fountain that the friends danced around in for the iconic theme song, and it's located right in Central Park.

3. Bloomingdale's

This is the department where Rachel worked before she moved on to Ralph Lauren, where she met Joshua, and where she started her career in fashion.

4. The Plaza Hotel

This is where Monica and Chandler celebrated their engagement in "The One WIth Monica's Thunder," and is actually really gorgeous.

5. The Central Perk Replica

While Central Perk isn't a real coffee shop, a pop-up replica opened up in 2014 on Lafayette Street and it's definitely a must-visit.

6. Chandler's Office

The fictional Chandler works in the real Solow Building, located on West 57th street.

Cover Image Credit: Fame Focus

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To The Guy Who Told Me Not To Be Me, Nice Try

He will not silence me.


He told me to never cut my hair short because it would make me look too masculine.

So, I sent him pictures of three different pixie cuts and asked him which one I should get.

He told me not to wear red lipstick because it made me look like a slut.

So, I bought every shade from blush rose to maroon.

He told me not to buy heels taller than one and a half inches tall because it's unattractive for a girl to be taller then the guy she is with.

My favorite shop was having a sell on a beautiful pair of three-inch stilettos. I bought them.

He told me that I was putting on a few extra pounds and that I shouldn't order dessert on our next dinner date.

Did he honestly think I would say no to the red velvet cake that our waitress offered?

He flirted with the waitress, saying that I should "look more like her."

I wrote down his number on our receipt before we left the restaurant.

He told me not to leave my "feminine products" on the counter because it's embarrassing.

When his friends came over for guys night, I organized my tampons and pads nicely on the bathroom shelf.

He told me that I couldn't talk to my best friend of 12 years because he was a guy.

I invited him to watch a movie with us at the local cinema the following week.

He told me not to order wine at the bar with him and his work friends because he didn't want me to seem "trashy."

I ordered jack and coke instead.

He told me not to be a feminist because it meant that I thought I was better than him.

My new "GIRL PWR" shirt is my favorite.

He told me to be silent.

He told me that I think too much and that I speak what I think too often.

He told me nobody cares about what I have to say.

He told me that the things I say don't matter.

So, I wrote a poem about him.

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