Well it's another year, and another St. Paddy's Day. This is the day where most of our nation actually thanks mother nature for causing that potato famine which brought the Irish's wicked awesome culture to America. But does anyone know why we celebrate St. Patrick's Day other than drinking pints of Guinness beer and crappy Shamrock Shakes? Well, I'm about to inform you a little bit about this "Spleodar" holiday.
Before we celebrate this day with green drinks and green foods, we have know who are celebrating for. We can thank St. Patrick for being a man of courage to be called the founder of Christianity in Ireland. I mean this dude was a total G.O.A.T. According to legend, St. Patrick was captured by pirates when he was young but managed to break free and return to his family. At one point, St. Patrick was a slave to a fellow Irishman. If that's not a reason to pour one out for this man, then I don't know what is.
Here is another fact. Back in elementary, there was this teacher who thought that she knew everything about the world. I mean seriously, she annoyed everyone. Well I remember when all my friends and I were scooping out kids to pinch who weren't wearing green, she came over and dropped some knowledge on us. She said that technically the true color of St. Patty's day was blue. She continued she say that apparently people in Ireland wear green or orange depending on what religion they affiliated with. We didn't really care and figured that she was the type of woman who owned 57 cats. Low and behold, I found out in high school that she was right.
Moving on to Leprechauns. Other than opening a box of Lucky Charms, I have never actually seen an actual Leprechaun; however, I have seen a drunk fat man who thought he was Leprechaun at a St. Patrick's Day parade one year. He thought he found a pot of gold, but it was really just a bag of drugs. Believe it or not, Leprechauns were made up entirely from Americans just being capitalists. That still won't keep me from watching the Luck of the Irish movie. We can all agree that movie makes us nostalgic.
Well that's pretty much all I have about the facts of St. Patrick's Day. I know its not much, but you can't blame me: I'm Italian, not Irish.
So when you celebrate St. Paddy's Day this year, try to remember these few things; St. Patrick fought through slavery and brought Christianity to Ireland so we could praise him with green beer, people wear green or orange depending on their religion, and if a fat man in a Leprechaun suit tells you that he can show you his pot of gold, its probably drugs, so run.
With this knowledge, I wish each and everyone a safe St. Paddy's Day. If you get into a awkward situation, then don't forget to do the "Irish Goodbye" and leave unannounced.
