It’s not a stretch to say that February is the most rejection-filled and rejection-fueled month of the year. Our dear high school seniors start receiving yes/no letters and emails from colleges, and college seniors scramble to line up jobs to sharpen the scope of their ambiguous “lives beyond college” that begin at graduation. Beyond that, we have St. Valentine’s Day and the conjoined air of commercialized love, which, unless 1. You are a person who rejects social media and doesn’t go outside, or 2. You are a person who is in a happy, functional, committed relationship, packs a punch full of rejection. So if you find yourself facing some sort of rejection this month, or ever, here are some things to remember.
1. You’re probably not alone in this rejection.
Chances are, in the many, many years that humanity has thrived and f*cked up, someone else has faced the same rejection as you – and if not in the exact same situation, a similar one. It’s easy to feel like you’re singled out in your rejection if no one directly around you is experiencing the same situation, but the odds are that you’re not alone in the world. Thinking of your rejection in the scope of the universe and beyond the people by which you’re immediately surrounded can really help lighten the load.
2. You’re learning something from this.
This fluctuates depending on what type of rejection you’re facing. Most types of rejection come with some kind of feedback – though not everyone is courteous enough to tell you where you’ve failed, most situations will provide some kind of clues as to where you went wrong, and you can pinpoint where to work on improving yourself.
3. You’ll have other chances to prove yourself.
There will be other job opportunities, other college letters, other relationships, other exams, other chances to win where you’ve previously lost. And next time you face a similar situation, you’ll be armed with the skills that you learned by facing rejection in the first place.
4. You’re becoming a better person by facing rejection.
You know those people who seem to skate through life without ever facing any kind of hardships? They’ll get theirs. And when they do finally face a speed bump in life, they’re going to have no idea what the hell to do with themselves, and their rejections will feel a thousand times larger than yours. By facing rejection head-on, we learn humility and how to deal with life’s hurdles.
5. You’re going to have a triumph that will match, if not surpass, this feeling of rejection.
The universe works in funny ways; it’s all basically one big balancing act, and for every low point you have in a day, week, month, year, you’ll have an equally high point at some other time. The frustration lies in waiting after a failure for the matching triumph, but it’s oddly comforting to know that the universe owes you one, and you’re due a win; if nothing else, it does wonders for self-confidence.
6. You haven’t necessarily done something wrong.
Sometimes you can actually do every single thing right in a situation, and not mess up at all, and still end up not meeting your end goals for any number of reasons. Not everything makes sense, and not everything has an explanation, and it’s infuriating, but it’s something you’ve got to accept if you ever want a life beyond 24/7 misery. Examine your situations for obvious failures, and if you can’t find any, let it go. Don’t lose sleep over it, don’t spend your entire life second guessing yourself, and don’t let it get to your head. Everything happens for a reason, even if you can’t always see the reason immediately.
So my parting gift to those facing rejection is this: Take it like a champ. Don’t lose any sleep over any type of rejection; stand tall, and wait for it to pass, because it will, and you’ll see better days.
