Just in case no one is aware, I’m going to fill you in on a little secret: the next Presidential election is going to happen in November. I know, I know, you had no clue! It’s okay; don’t be mad at yourself for not knowing this juicy piece of gossip because it is a very well-kept secret and almost no one knows about it. You might be wondering how on earth you are going to get all of this new info and keep up to date with all these election fads! Well never fear my friends, I have the answer to solve all of your problems: Facebook.
Facebook is the greatest platform for uneducated people to share poorly written articles about candidates subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) snubbing each other and avoiding important questions. Facebook is the best way to share your political opinion with the people who care: aka your mom, because she’s the only one who cares about everything that comes out of your mouth.
There are a few upsides to your friends sharing political opinions on Facebook though!
- It’s easy to weed out the weak. Seeing someone ignorantly posting political opinion after political opinion on Facebook gives your fingers a great workout from unfollowing and even unfriending people whose opinions just don’t matter to you.
- It’s entertaining. Bust out the popcorn because more likely than not, there’s a political showdown on someone’s Facebook status that everyone wants to get involved in. Even the simplest of statuses like “I support candidate ‘X’’ turns into the new battleground for World War 3. This gives you the chance to stop binge watching Greys Anatomy and save some episodes for girl’s night next weekend.
- It’s educational. These statuses and posts give you a chance to help educate the population by correcting their grammar and syntax. Classic example: “OMG Cindy it’s *you’re not your .” You are doing a wonderful public service to all that participate and for that you should be given a medal. This also shows you can form complete sentences and defenses and don’t need to rely on deflection to win an argument (am I sensing future politicians here?)
- Gems like this youtube video (shout out to BadLipReading: if you’ve never seen their videos go watch them, they're hilarious!)
- You know who is a good person to hit up when you’re broke based on their Facebook statues about their participation in the Presidential Debate Drinking games. Based on the games I’ve seen, these people must be made of money because with the amount of alcohol they consume based on the drinking rules they will inevitably get star spangled hammered during these debates. Apparently this is such a huge thing that Rolling Stone published their own rules, the best one: “A candidate whines about not getting called on enough.” Seriously guys, this is one to Google, just reading the statements made me crack up.
Just in case the entire tone of this article went over your head: please stop posting your annoying political opinions on Facebook. I don’t care about them, your friends from high school don’t care about them, your mother doesn’t even care about them but she will always support you and give you your obligatory one like. So for the love of all that is red, white, and blue, stick to cute animal videos; no one has ever argued over an elephant taking a bath.
