Emotional abuse is very real, and it comes in many different forms. It comes in the form of making others feel crazy for how they are feeling. It comes in telling someone that they are stupid for getting upset. It comes in telling someone that their depression doesn’t matter or isn't real. It comes in threatening someone. When an emotional abuser does these things repeatedly, they are putting the thought into someone’s brain that they don’t matter, and that can actually turn someone crazy, more upset, and even put them in a depressive state.
I didn't realize how traumatic emotionally abusive relationships actually were until I had been in one. I think back to all of the times that he had put me down, all of the times he held things over my head, and all of the times he subtly threatened me, all to intimidate me and make me think I couldn't do any better. I should have recognized the signs, but you know what they say, "love is blind."
And boy was I blind. I continued to believe that I was worthless because he made me believe I was. I was scared to talk to him about my problems or when I was dealing with depression because he usually told me that I was being over-dramatic or convince me that I was insane. I always thought to myself that it was all out of love though. I thought he didn't actually realize how self-conscious he made me feel all the time, but ultimately he did.
It's all about control to an emotional abuser, like it was for mine. It's a way to show dominance and make someone think that they don't deserve better. It's a mind game, emphasis on the game. They may love you, but they love controlling you more.
It's not worth the long term mental effects, no matter how much you love them. It can have deadly affects. According to loveisrespect.org:
"One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner," and, "Half of youth who have been victims of both dating violence and rape attempt suicide."
It's terrifying to think that so many people, especially young people, have been affected by some sort of abuse to the point where they take their own life. Many think that emotional abuse isn't real, and it's just someone being too sensitive. It is real though, and it needs to stop. Personally, my depression spiraled out of control when dealing with my emotional abuser. Without the love and support of my friends and family, I probably would have been another terrifying statistic.
No more though. We can't idly sit by and watch another person go through abuse. Speak up. Offer support to them. Let them vent when they need to. If needed, point out that what their partner is doing is abuse but know they won't always listen. Be there for them. We can lower those statistics.
