Well, you did it. You finally made it to college and you're in your first psych class and everything is new and amazing and fascinating! That information is so cool to you and you just have to share it with the world--not that they really care. Once you open that box that is just the beginning of our understanding of the human brain, it becomes one of the most exciting classes because every day you discover more about yourself and your peers and all you want to do is apply your new knowledge to your friends. The following is a list of what's going to happen to us psych majors now that we are armed with this knowledge.
1. You will want to analyze EVERYTHING.
One night you're walking down the sidewalk bickering over something small with your significant other and you start asking them to explain their reasoning, wanting them to go deeper into their thoughts. They are just not having it, but you have this NEED to analyze this conversation about whether Coke is better than Pepsi! You frequently will ask, "Yes, but why?" and people will frequently respond with, "Just because! Good god, leave me alone." Nothing is more exciting than figuring someone out, but sometimes you have to chill.
2. Your friends will ask you to break them down.
"What do you think this dream means?" will become a daily conversation starter with your friends, so beware. Sorry guys, Freud's dream analyzing is not a widely accepted form of therapy nowadays, so I cannot accurately tell you what's wrong with you based on the manifest content of your dream. Also, I'm not a licensed psychologist.
3. You will constantly wonder about your sanity.
Don't worry: my mental state is probably the catalyst of my journey to becoming a psychologist. That's your warning.
4. You'll start diagnosing people in your head.
I wonder if they have an anxiety disorder. Maybe some form of Dissociative Identity Disorder! Or, you know, maybe they're just having an off day. Once you learn all of these diagnoses you're going to think that EVERYONE has something going on in their head when in all reality they may just not feel like looking people in the eye or smiling at strangers. You should probably tone down the people watching.
5. People will tell you that your science isn't "really science."
OK seriously people, Psychology is science. After taking Latin for four years and a semester of Etymology I can assure you that Psychology quite literally means the study of the mind. Biology means the study of life and Entomology is the study of insects. These are sciences. Just because we don't necessarily understand chemical bonds or significant figures or how to find the velocity of whatever you do in physics (see, I know nothing) does not mean that our science isn't as serious.
6. Hearing "ugh I'm so depressed" will piss you off.
Oh really? So you have been experiencing five of the nine symptoms of depression listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition for a period of two weeks and have talked to a therapist and been diagnosed? You haven't? Oh OK then don't make light of such a serious disorder. This is a serious issue for people and is not something to just throw around.
7. Everything will mean something.
That person looked down right as they passed you... maybe they have some sort of social anxiety! Your friend said "ok" instead of "OK" so they're probably going through a lot right now and don't have time to deal with you. You're going through a lot of mood swings right now and you're feeling really tired all of a sudden, maybe you're depressed? Trust me. You will find meaning behind every little thing someone does or every mood swing you go through. You can't help it; you know so much about the human mind now (but not really).
8. People will get annoyed when you ask them to talk about their feelings.
How did that make you feel? Why do you think you felt that way? Why are you annoyed with my questioning? I'm just trying to help... I learned this theory in class... Just stop. Unless the person you're talking to is also a psych major, and sometimes not even then, they don't care that you think you know everything about personalities and character traits. Not everyone finds this stuff as cool as we do.
It's a hard-knock life being a psych major surrounded by friends that are engineering majors (shout out to my friends at school). The journey you have decided to take as a psych major is an amazing one thus far, but sometimes it's hard to be excited when those around you just don't understand what you're talking about when you're explaining Psychoanalytical therapy or Kohlberg's theory of moral development. That's OK though because as they sit there learning how to do the evil that is calculus or understanding the mystery that is Economics, you can sit back and analyze your friends to a creepy extent.
