The other day my boyfriend and I were talking about long-term relationships. We were brought together out of fate and I'm sure of it. Before we had met, we both were coming out of four-year-long relationships. We both had our breakups at the same time as well. The weirdest part of all is we hadn't even met yet. We met three weeks later at our rec. There is a huge difference between our old relationships though. Him and his ex are civil with each other. I imagine that's how it should be. My story is quite different.

Is it normal to never talk again after dating for four years? Is it normal to get broken up over the phone with after four years when I just saw him?

Let's get one thing straight -- my life is probably a lot better without him in it. Some people are just toxic for you, and the best thing I could've done to get over him was to have zero communication at all. But it's almost been a year and I haven't heard anything from him since that phone call. Not a "How are you doing?" or "What's new in your life?" Not even an "I'm ready to talk about what happened" just so we can learn from the mistakes we made in our relationship. Literally nothing.

Going through my breakup felt more like I was mourning someone than just getting broken up with. First off, I tried to reach out to him. I asked if he was okay, I told him I wanted to talk on the phone when he was ready, I even told him how sorry I was for everything in our relationship (thinking it was my fault when in reality he asked a girl to be his girlfriend the day after he ended things with me). I got nothing. Next, he deleted me out of his life. He deleted me off all social media and any posts he possibly had of me. I didn't think anything of it at first. I was mad that he wanted me out of his life so bad.

Looking back at it all, I'm not hurt anymore like I was. I'm more frustrated at the fact that I let someone walk all over me and I didn't do anything about it. My current boyfriend always tells me that the way my ex and I are now is not how it should be; he told me that even he can't seem to understand why my ex treats me the way he does.

There's no way you can be with someone and after four years not care about them. The reality of the story is that I still cared for him. Heck, I still hope he's doing well. It's not that I miss him, but he was a big part of my life. I grew up with him. I spent 20 percent of my life dating him. He was there with me through a lot and I for him. I know we weren't meant to be and I'd never want to be in a relationship with him again. But I care about how he's doing. I hope he is happy, and this is how it should be.

Ever since that last phone call, it felt like he kinda just...died. He's gone out of my life and the thing is, no matter how hard I try to reach out to him, what's the point? It's not like he cares about me. In fact, he probably couldn't care less about me.

I can't tell you why these things happen, but know that this isn't how long term relationships should end. By no means am I saying "you should still be friends with your ex" because sometimes that's not healthy for yourself. But it's okay to see how they're doing and make sure they are living out their life goals. It will make you happy to know they're finally happy and doing well, and when you've cared for someone for so long, that's all you want for them.