Traditional dating labels have gone out the window in 2015. Labels such as "boyfriend", "girlfriend" and even "bae" aren’t required like they used to be. Now there is a way to maintain a healthy semi-commitment-free relationship with subtle emotional strings attached. Couples nowadays are opting to remain “exclusive” for periods of time before actually dating—aka “We're not dating each other, but we aren’t dating anyone else either.”
In our young adult lives, striving to find ourselves and become successful in a Pinterest kind of way, we might not have time for a full-blown relationship. Being exclusive gives you the ability to be your own person at your own pace but also gives you someone to share the ride with.
Being exclusive is a simpler term for a test drive. Why put so much money down on a car you might not like? You’re spending time together, going on dates, and meeting each other’s friends and family as “friends.” In a nutshell, being exclusive is saying “'I like you and want to see if this keeps going well; I won't do anything with anyone else that could mess this up, but officially calling you my boyfriend is a little too much right now.”
Exclusive relationships give you the ability to find out whether or not you like each other enough to move on to more serious endeavors. Unlike courting, the underlying goal is to not get married but to do the exact opposite—to live in the moment. Being exclusive is for you if you are sick of playing games but aren’t ready to give up on dating and settle down with the next Joe Shmoe that walks through the door.
But this isn’t to be confused with a causal relationship. This has fewer boundaries and no expectations of a real relationship. This the basic definition of a “friend with benefits.” The relationships last as long as a match and go nowhere from there; this is an extremely low-key and open relationship. While there should still be rules and regulations to follow, it is emotionally unrewarding compared to the aforementioned dating alternatives.
This is also a great way to get out of the friend-zone. Becoming more intimate with someone you have a good relationship with makes being exclusive easier. Having a sound base as a friend before a love interest makes it easier to know, understand, and read a person for who they actually are, because they can’t hide anything at the time.
Being exclusive isn’t black and white. It’s all the shades of grey available at Lowe's, but the depth of your grey depends on you. Since there is not a clear definition of good and bad when being exclusive, be sure to set rules for your relationship boundaries.
Happy not-dating!
