To the people who call me boring because I don't drink in college,

I'd like to start out by stating that I'm not shaming you for drinking alcohol. It's absolutely and 100% your decision whether or not you drink for enjoyment. I am no one to judge you. That being said, you are no one to judge me or my preferences either. I choose not to drink for several reasons. Aside from the fact that it is illegal in the United States under the age of 21 and I am unwilling to face the consequences, I don't like the taste of beer, wine, and honestly every other drink that I've sipped from a friend or family member's cup. I've heard only horror stories about hangovers, and I don't want to find out if they're true. It doesn't sound appealing to me to have to depend on a substance to reach a certain level of happiness and it doesn't sound appealing to me to not be in control of my actions, my words, my body, and my thoughts.

All of this being said, there is a huge difference between drinking and binge drinking. Drinking in college seems to only be able to equate to binge drinking. Honestly, one day I may drink alcohol. However, I'll do it how I consider being tasteful - with a meal and no more than one glass. Binge drinking scares me and that fear is not irrational. I didn't think that going to a party school and not drinking would have this big of an impact on my social life. I feel so lonely sometimes when all of my friends want to go to a bar and I don't. I get that it is their idea of fun, but for me, it is nothing more than stress. I don't like putting myself in situations in which I may face pressure to drink; the pressure gets stronger with age. I stand firmly by my decision, and it frustrates me when people try to force me into participating in their idea of fun. In these bar situations, I can either go, have to say no to 20 different people offering me drinks, feel uncomfortable watching people that I care about intoxicated, and feel a moral obligation to take care of everyone under the influence, or skip out and sit alone in my room watching Snapchat stories of everyone together and hear stories in the morning. It's not that I feel as though I miss out on fun, I just get lonely when everyone is going out together and I have to miss out on being in the company of my friends.

My idea of a fun night out is going to a cool restaurant in a hip area or going to a concert, a poetry slam, some sort of play or performance, checking out an art gallery, sitting on the beach, exploring a new city, or traveling. I love going out and exploring and doing things - I am not "boring" or "sheltered" because I choose to not go out in terms of partying. I actually love parties and dancing. At weddings, family parties, or high school dances, I was always the one that never left the dance floor. I love dancing, but I don't love it when everyone around me is intoxicated. It stresses me out a lot. I do like staying in every so often, but not as much as I feel like I have to. I love movie nights with pizza, late night drives with loud music, and sitting in the trunk of a parked car having a conversation about life in a scenic place. I like doing a lot of things, so please don't tell me that I'm boring or never want to do anything because I do want to, just not in the way that you want to.

I still love dancing at weddings and family parties and I'm still always the last one on the dance floor there. Honestly, though, my version of the clubbing that people my age do has become dancing in the living room with a speaker to a playlist I make - I have more fun this way compared to going to a club. That's an unpopular opinion, but it is mine, I don't find thrill from the same things that are found normal. I don't want to jump out of a plane or drink a fishbowl of tequila. That's my choice, so please don't belittle my sense of enjoyment. I have a huge bucket list full of adventures that I want to add onto all of the ones that I have gone on thus far. I want to fully experience life, but I don’t think that I need that daredevil sense of adventure to feel as though I am living life to its fullest. This doesn’t make me boring. The isolation of this different opinion can get to me sometimes, but I'd like to tell you that I'm doing just fine with my decision not to drink. All I ask for is your respect for my boundaries.

Sincerely,

The Fun-Loving AND Sober Friend