The other night my roommates and I decided to watch the infamous movie Fifty Shades of Grey. If you have never seen it, it's basically about a girl who falls in love with a masochistic, problematic stalker who literally tortures her for his own pleasure. It's hardly a love story that anyone would want to become submissive to. However, the movie, and book, tries to portray some type of love story behind the darkness of the man.
Picture this: a man stalks you until you finally surrender to his wishes. He takes you on dates, and is, what most would call, absolutely irresistible; however, he holds a dark secret that holds torture as a means of pleasure. If one thinks about this scenario as his or her own, it's a disgusting, insane idea. Who actually swoons over a relationship that includes masochism?
One would be surprised at how many girls actually do. They believe this is a love story, something they yearn for. If you ask me, this is an awful example of what a relationship should look like. Christian Gray (the subject of the movie) is against touching, sleeping in the same bed, actually dating, and much more. He acts cold and vain, but leaves Anastasia (the main character) wanting more every time they part. He uses insulting tactics to reel her in to his trap. It's an abusive relationship covered up with romance the whole time. He treats her terribly, but has girls in the audience swooning over how beautiful and romantic their love is.
Since Christian Gray is absolutely irresistible, the relationship has a facade of looking perfect and something young girls thirst for. But what if Christian Gray was unattractive? What if he was unfit, bearded, and didn't have an award winning smile? Would it still be a relationship to look up to? The simple answer is no. The movie, and book, is creepy but uses a delusion to draw people away from the creepiness factor.
Is this kind of abusive relationship something that you would want your daughter to have? I know I wouldn't want mine to yearn over one.
This movie, and book, teaches young girls, "it's okay to settle for this kind of abusive relationship, it means that you are in love." However, this relationship is far from love. This relationship is surrounded by toxins such as greed, lust, and torture. This movie does not show the kind of relationship to correlate with a "goal." It puts women down and makes them out to be only victims. We have come much too far in our women's rights to become pliable to such disrespect and counterintelligence. We should be teaching young girls to be strong, independent, and teaching how to understand what true love really looks like. This movie does the exact opposite, teaching girls that abuse actually equals love. Therefore, stop letting your daughters swoon over Fifty Shades; it's far from the kind of relationship that we want young girls to reach for. I mean, to be honest, what happened to good old Nicholas Sparks?
