I guess it's time for you to find out, I do still love you. You were a huge part of my life and I haven't figured out how to push that out of my head. And maybe I shouldn't forget all of the amazing times we had together, but after everything you put me through this year, I feel like I need to. It's been almost a year and people are still asking how you are like I would know. No one knew the real story and a lot of people still don't. People just assumed we would stay together. When they asked and I told them we had ended things, the only response was "Wow, you guys were great together, what happened?".

You were this nice guy with no mean bone in your body and I was this helpless teenager that needed someone to save me. That was the problem. No one knew how much damage you could do to me because you were the one saving me, right? When we were together, my mental health plummeted. I wasn't eating right, I wasn't sleeping right, and I even treated my family like crap. We were both to blame though. During our relationship, we pushed away people that cared about us just to be with each other 24/7. If we weren't together, it was because the other was on vacation or at work. There were even times when we got angry at each other for spending time with friends instead of each other. It took me 2 and 1/2 years and you leaving to realize how toxic our relationship was.

So, when you left and I was happier than I had been in a long time, I couldn't imagine getting back with you. I was back on my feet. I made a ton of news friends, I started working out, and I actually had time to myself. But, you came running back when you realized breaking up with me was a mistake. I was hesitant at first, but I welcomed you back with open arms. I let you hurt me again and again throughout what was supposed to be the best year of my high school career. You pulled things against me that not even Regina George herself would think of. And before I knew it, you were blocked on all of my accounts. You still found ways to slither back into my life though and it drove me crazy. I started getting emails and texts and phone calls from a random number, and I pretended I didn't care. I put on a brave face to my friends and laughed along with them just brushing it off my shoulder, but in reality, it crushed me.

I couldn't believe it was really you because you were an amazing person when we were together. You did so many things for me and I never wanted you to leave. You were a part of my family and I felt like a part of yours. I cared so deeply about you. And that's why I still love you. Because you made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world and feelings like that don't just go away. But, I can't be with you. And I hope someday you realize what I finally did.