Everyone makes mistakes.
Often people make mistakes. I know that I have made my fair share throughout my 19 years, mostly recently or since I entered college. Maybe you took something that was not yours to begin with or intentionally hurt another person's feelings. Maybe your mistake was something much more serious. Maybe you destroyed your entire future and in one breath every single thing you had planned for vanished right before your eyes. People make mistakes every day, big and small. No matter the mistake, we all must remember that we are human and we are not perfect, and that is exactly the way God created each and every one of us when He shaped the Heavens and the Earth, but there is a deciding factor in each mistake making incident. That deciding factor would be God.
The past year of my life has been both the best and worst. I have gained so much, yet lost so much of myself along the way. I found the truest friendships with the most amazing people I have ever met, yet I have allowed myself to lose my direction and focus. As I have scrambled to repave my path there seems to be a new evil awaiting around every corner and a dark shadow looming over me. Every step forward seems to end with me finding myself three steps backward and exactly where I began. I have found myself struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel and sometimes I still feel just that. Then, I realize just what is missing from my world: the Lord.
Though I have "learned to pray again" that does not necessarily mean that my heart is always right and my thoughts are constantly pure. I have come to realize that the Lord must be placed in every single aspect of your life. He must be the guiding hand in all decisions and the first cry for help in a time of desperate need. The Lord must be the hand you hold in the dark and on the front burner of your entire world. He must be present in your everyday life, within your lunch hour, coffee break, midday nap, and history essay. The Lord is always and forever will be the deciding factor in one's life.
I would never want anyone to think that I would blame my mistakes or actions on the Lord because that is not my purpose. My purpose is to reveal my epiphany. My epiphany that maybe my prayers are being heard, but I'm counteracting all of the Lord's work by not living fully for Him and His word. I also want my audience to realize that I am not asking people to believe this way or stating that this is a fact, but this is how I feel. I am sharing not only for my own comfort, but for others as well in hopes of letting them know that they are not alone in their battle to worship and their struggle to remain faithful in a world that continues to make you feel alone and lost.
Everyone makes mistakes. Each of us has made the wrong decision a handful of times and cursed ourselves later. God's people are not meant to be perfect, but they are meant to praise their Savior. I am a Christian, but I often find myself lost. Yes, I have "learned to pray again," but I have also discovered that the Lord must clothe my world and I must allow his light to shine. Life is tough, but we don't need helmets; we need faith. I hope that each of you reading has learned from your mistakes; I know that I have.
