The clacking of a keyboard, the seemingly endless hours of watching a television series, and many hours of fighting and killing monsters in a video game. Why do we all manage to somehow end up doing these things even if we have a million things to do in real life? I never really thought of why I end up doing these exact things, but, now I realize that I feel like my life is lacking adventure.

Growing up, my parents would play computer MMORPG games and I also got sucked into playing them too. I always loved coming home from school to play games on the computer or spending almost all weekend and many restless nights playing these types of games. I guess my obsession with these types of games have caused me to feel like there is something missing in my life. Along with games, I have also dived into numerous television shows, books, and movie series that have made me feel temporarily emotionally full, yet when I go back to real life, I think to myself "What would this character do?" or, "What if I was in this scene; what would the characters think of me?" I go into these thoughts feeling pretty happy, but when I go back to dealing with laundry or cleaning house, I feel so bland and ordinary. I feel cursed having a vibrant outgoing personality with a pretty basic life. I know that in order to feel happy in life that I have to go out and do what I love, but how do you find a true slice of happiness in a universe where you feel out of place?

I always feel like I am a stranger to this world, especially since my energy and my personality is a warrior, yet, I feel useless to help this world. When I imagine my personality, I see a kind of beautiful warrior who is loving, and powerful, yet has a sense of attraction, sort of like "Xena: Warrior Princess". I envision a far away world where there are always adventures and not this whole "White picket fence" type of life. I am not a nine to five type of person, I am, in my own way, a warrior. I guess watching and reading many series about adventures has made me seem delirious or too imaginative, but, I always have hope that one day something will change my life from bland and normal, to exciting and adventurous. Who knows, maybe its just my rebellious and stubborn Arian personality, but, I want an adventure. I think this is why I aspire to be a musician or an actress, so then maybe I can be someone I'm not, or to write music about who I am deep down, that I never really tell people. Either way, I feel like a stranger to this world where technology rules, and adventure is just mainly written in fairy tales by people who also feel like this world isn't their own. I do know this much though, even though I live on this planet, I know it's not where my soul calls home.