Hey-- random guy from an online dating app who irritably messaged me multiple times asking why I didn't respond.
Friend of a friend from Facebook who thought I was "cute" and then became hostile when I wouldn't go out with you.
Guy who I just met who sent me passive-aggressive texts when I hadn't texted you back--after 45 minutes.
Oh, and you, the virtual stranger who decided that I must go out with you and would pressure me if I said no, but started messaging me on multiple platforms saying, "Seriously? I just want to talk to you" if I ignored you.
I'm talking directly to you, and I'm typing this out right now in an attempt to get off my chest something that I was too scared and insecure to tell you before: you are not entitled to me.
Say it with me: you are not entitled to me. You are not entitled to my time. You are not entitled to a response from me.
It's really as simple as that. If we were in the midst of a serious conversation and I didn't respond to you, that would be one thing. It would be another thing if we were dating, in any capacity, and I refused to reply to your messages. In those cases, I would understand a text or Facebook message with irritated undertones. However, we are not dating, nor are we devising a plan to steal the Declaration of Independence. Therefore, I owe you nothing.
I don't think there are accurate words in the English language to describe how much I don't care that you want to talk to someone. I don't care if you're really a nice guy and she should give you a chance. First of all, you are not a nice guy if you call someone a "bitch" or quickly turn on her if she doesn't reply to a message from a stranger or acquaintance. Second, you might really want to talk to her, but that doesn't mean you get what you want. The other person has a choice to talk to you or not, too, and it is just as valid as your choice. Truthfully, there could be a whole plethora of reasons why she's not responding to you--she's shy, she's busy, she's not interested in you, she doesn't check her phone very often, she doesn't feel comfortable responding, etc--but, really, it doesn't matter. She's choosing not to respond, and that's really all you need to know.
You might have a million fantasies for this girl. You might have seen some pictures of her and stalked her social media accounts and imagined just how perfect and wonderful she is. That's okay; we all do that. But she's not how you imagined her to be. She's a unique human being who you don't really know. She's not your manic pixie dream girl who's going to feed your ego and bring you on magical adventures, and by placing your expectations on her, you are disrespecting her individuality and foolishly falling for the idea of her. So, with this in mind, take a few steps back and realize that you are not messaging the girl who might be perfect for you; you are messaging a random person. She is to you what you are to her.
I don't know if guys like you will ever cease to exist. It would be great if you all learned to deal with rejection by calling your mom or writing in your diary or binge-watching Netflix like other people, but I don't know if you will. There will always be people who lash out when they feel hurt or offended, and will only treat others with respect when they hear the word "yes." So, this is for you, then, the people who have to deal with situations like this. The next time someone makes you uncomfortable like this, tell yourself what it took me years to tell myself: No one--especially not some creep on the internet--is entitled to you. Period.
