It's not the victim's fault.
Who are we to tell a survivor of rape or sexual assault that they probably just blacked out or he just wanted to hookup it’s not that big of a deal? Victim blaming is one of the primary reasons that rape and sexual assault go severely unreported. A study from 2010 found that only 6.5% of the rapes reported to a Center for Disease Control and Prevention National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey were also reported to law enforcement. The large number of rapes of sexual assaults that go unreported are a sign for a change in society where victims are not constantly belittled and are rather comforted in their distress.
As of late, Kesha has been a primary figure in the stand against victim blaming. In her case against her producer at Kemosabe Records, Dr. Luke, Kesha was denied being released from her contract because the judge claimed that Sony had heavily negotiated the contract and that Kesha currently has the opportunity to record without Dr. Luke being present. With the tremendous amount of support for Kesha through this case, she has also received an outlandish amount of blame for the ordeal. There are people, including Dr. Luke himself, who believe that she is using these accusations to break her contract with Kemosabe Records and gain financial settlement out of the case. While I believe in the notion of “innocent until proven guilty,” there is still a harmful insinuation that has groups of people distrusting Kesha after coming out about the assault. Thankfully, some of music’s biggest artists including Adele, Ariana Grande, Kelly Clarkson, and Lady Gaga have all come out in support of Kesha. No one should be forced to work with their abuser and by victim blaming Kesha, it only perpetuates a harmful narrative that the victim must have done something wrong and it’s their own fault.
Instead of assuming the victim was at fault because of what he or she wore, or that they were “asking for it,” or maybe they just blacked out, people should start to sympathize with the victim and provide a sense of comfort. And while there are certainly anecdotal instances of someone falsely accused of sexual assault or rape, more times than none the victim is telling the truth. Just to simply speak up about being abused takes a lot of courage because with speaking up, unfortunately, there has been a history of people having doubts about the accusations. I want my future kids to grow up in a place where hopefully they wouldn’t have to worry about sexual assault or rape in the first place, but in the instance that they did, they would feel comfortable about speaking up and reporting the incident so that the abuser does not go unpunished. For many, sexual assault and rape ruin their lives and can cause them to seek other remedies such as alcohol, drugs, or even suicide. By comforting the victim and being compassionate, there’s a chance that they will find solace in your friendship rather than other remedies. This also allows him or her to know that speaking out was the right thing to do because no rape or sexual assault should go unpunished.
If you hear of a friend, family member, or just some random person talking about how he or she was abused, it’s important to tell them that it’s the right thing to speak up about it. Rather than wait, it’s important that the victim reports it as soon as possible so that the abuser can be punished for their crime. Because that’s what it is; a crime. It wasn’t a drunk night out, or the night she wore a slutty costume; it was the time that someone took advantage and chose to sexually abuse a human being. There’s no excuse for a heinous crime such as rape or sexual assault. It’s important that you take the time to let the victim know that it’s time to speak up, because without the reporting of such despicable acts, we will just keep going along the road of perpetuating a rape culture.
Remember, you're not just a victim; you're a survivor.
If you or anyone you know has been sexually assaulted or raped, please call 800.656.HOPE, visit the JMU Counseling Center, or talk with family or friends. It’s important that we stop the perpetuation of a rape culture and rather applaud the courage and bravery of victims who come forward.
