This week, I was walking to the gym. In the gym parking lot on campus during the day, two guys started to call me and try to get my attention. Walking by myself, I am not trying to get attention and, in fact, I don't want to get attention especially if I am outnumbered. I am not writing this article to complain about getting attention, but simply the matter of getting attention. Catcalling is a form of is a form of harassment. A nonprofit organization called Stop Street Harassment revealed in a 2008 study that over 99 percent of American women say they've been a victim of street harassment. This is a problem that needs to be addressed. Women "should be quiet" toward catcalling out of fear, but need to speak up to counter this harassment. This is my take on what I would say to a guy who thinks catcalling will get my attention.
To whom this may concern,
Thank you for taking notice of me. This is not a letter written to put you down, but simply a suggestion. It is a suggestion for you to reevaluate your attention towards me to actually convey a compliment.
For starters, while you think may think you are flattering me, you are not.
While you think this is an action of chivalry, this is not.
While you think this makes me happy, I am not.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you are a nice guy deep down, but catcalling does not make me fall head over heels. It is demeaning. It blindly gives me a faceless title of "Baby" or "Girl." There is power in treating me like a person, rather than a thing.
Intimidation and power are not the new sexy. Undesired attention makes me uncomfortable. When I am walking alone, rather than call me from a distance or stare, come and have an actual conversation.
Many think chivalry is not dead. But it is not. Catcalling is a twisted form of chivalry that needs to be modified because it keeps us both nameless, rather than unifying us in any relationship. It keeps the distance between us, rather than closing the gap.
So, here are some tips to think about next time you take interest in a girl. We are not pieces of meat and life is not a catalog to pick and choose from. Relationships are deeper than calling out a girl's physical appearance. Relationships are built on emotional connection, so if you just want to compliment me, do it in a polite way. If you want to get to know me, talk to me. Do not stare to make me uncomfortable and do not honk because I will not look.
In the future, I have hope. I will put my foot down until there is change. You know as well as I do that catcalling is not a compliment, so let's end catcalling once and for all.
From,
The girl who's not looking back.
