So I'm close to finishing Week Two of the elimination diet. After Week One went off without a hitch, I started this second week knowing it would be be a breeze, because I'd found foods that I enjoyed eating, I was feeling better than I had in years and I was feeling really optimistic about the weeks to come.

That changed very quickly upon entering Week Two. Suddenly, I hated everything about the diet. I hated not eating the foods I wanted. I sulked while I watched my friends snack on Cheez-its and Snickers while I was stuck eating grapes and coconut flakes. I never felt satisfied. I was sick of eating bland chicken and salads while everyone around me ate things full of sugary, savory, salty, spicy flavor. Suddenly, I felt like all of my symptoms were reappearing. My stomach was cramping, I was exhausted, extremely irritable and I never felt full.

I started to panic. What if the diet wasn't working? What if I just invested all of this money into doctor's appointments, supplements and weekly grocery trips just to have it all be a giant hoax? My mind was telling me, "Joke's on you! This is just a giant plot for you to hate your life for three weeks without any improvement in your health! Mwahaha."

But then I emailed my doctor. He explained that it was normal to feel this "roller coaster effect," where my symptoms would periodically reappear and disappear as the detox process continued. He told me that soon, I would come to the "top" of the roller coaster, and the way down would be smooth, healthy and pain-free sailing.

I'm not going to lie. It's really hard for me to deny myself the pleasure of ice cream and candy. It's really hard for me to watch my friends eat whatever they want, whenever they want. They're constantly apologizing to me, and that makes me feel even worse. I don't want anyone to feel guilty because of a change that I chose to make.

I made this choice because I'm really angry at my body for having a hostile relationship with me right now. I'm sick of not feeling well, of feeling like I'm out of control of my own body. I hate being bound to my exhaustion, stomach pains, and menstrual cramps. I hate feeling like I can't enjoy life because, all of a sudden, I'm having these health problems that make me want to lay in bed all day and pretend like I don't exist.

That's why I made this change. I want to feel alive again, I want to feel like I have some say in the way my own skin feels and the way I go about my daily life. Lately, my life has been a constant roller coaster, ups and downs that never seem to stop. The worst part is that the ups and downs always present themselves when I least expect it too. Right now, I'm sick of the roller coaster. I'm ready to get off this ride.

As I begin a new round of healing supplements, my hopes for the next week are smooth sailing. I want to feel healthy and happy. That's truly all I can hope for. When you feel like crap for a year, the smallest things, like being able to motivate yourself to do the dishes or be able to stay up past 9 PM, make the biggest differences. I've already started to notice these small changes, and I can't wait to notice bigger ones that make me feel more like myself again. This diet is really, really hard, but I hope I will find that it has changed my life in the end. I hope that it's able to give me back a little bit of the time I've lost over the past year too.