10 Things To Keep In Mind When Learning How To Love Yourself

10 Things To Keep In Mind When Learning How To Most Effectively Love Yourself

Practicing self-love is never easy.


Learning how to love yourself is hard. Learning how to love and accept who you are in a society where impossible standards of perfection and beauty are continually impressed upon us is even harder.

Often, people think that learning how to love yourself and effectively practicing self-love is setting apart some time in your weekly routine to light some candles, throw a bath bomb in your tub, and put on a facemask. I enjoy all of these things just as much as the next person, but there is more to loving yourself than scented bubble baths and deep-cleaning charcoal facemasks.

Practicing self-love is never this romantic. It often comes with an uncomfortable amount of self-disciple, healing, and behavior correcting.

Here are 10 things to continually keep in mind when learning how to love yourself most effectively:

1. Tomorrow is a new day.

We often get caught up in the day-to-day events that take place in our individual lives. This can make getting through even 24 hours seem mentally and physically exhausting. Remember to breathe. Take everything you face one day at a time; tomorrow brings new opportunities.

2. You don't have to be perfect.

Society tends to perpetuate this faux idea of perfection. The concept of owning your individuality and uniqueness becomes foreign when there is so much pressure to be perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal, and it's okay not to be perfect.

3. Having a bad day is OK. 

Bad days are inevitable. You spilled coffee on your brand-new white shirt, woke up 30 minutes late and missed an important meeting, and forgot to pack your lunch – that's okay! It's just a bad day, not a bad life.

4. Making mistakes is a part of life.

Like I said earlier, perfection is an unattainable goal. Making mistakes is a part of growing up, they're also inevitable – and that's also okay!

5. Small steps are still progress.

Progress is progress. Today you are further ahead than you were yesterday. Tomorrow you'll be further ahead than the day before. Learning to love yourself is a slow, tedious process that won't be easy.

6. Asking for help makes you strong. 

In case you haven't heard it before – it's okay not to be okay. If you have a bad day, going through a rough patch, that's okay!

Asking for help from your friends, family, or from professionals is completely normal. Admitting that you need help is one of the strongest and most beneficial things you can do for yourself on your journey to loving yourself.

7. It's OK to say 'no'.

One of the hardest things I have had to learn in my journey of self-love is that saying 'no' is okay. Trust me; your friends will understand when you say that you don't want to go out. Put yourself first; you'll thank yourself later.

8. Not everyone will like you.

You will have people that don't like you – and that's okay! Remember that bit about perfection being unattainable? Being a people pleaser is mentally draining (I know this from personal experience). My mom always told me "if you live your life always aiming to please others you'll never experience genuine happiness" – and she's 100% right.

9. People love and appreciate you. 

Despite coming across those people who won't always like you, there are plenty of people in your day-to-day life who love, cherish, and appreciate the influence that you bring to their life. You are valued and loved more than you will ever believe, never forget that.

10. Beauty comes only from within.

There is only one of you made exactly the way you are – one of a kind, unique, special. Rather than dismissing the things that make you unique, accept them as the things that make you the most you that you can be.

Learning how to effectively practice self-love daily is a journey, not a race. While this journey will be long and can seme somewhat tiring, it will be worth it.

Remember you are beautiful and worthy of a life filled with love and happiness.

Popular Right Now

I Hate That I Struggle To Love My 'Midsize' Body

I gained a few pounds, but that shouldn't be the end of the world, yet it is in a sense.


Junior year of college has been quite the wild ride. I've had the best academic year of my entire life, yet struggled, in the end, to even want to get anything done. I didn't care about a lot of the things that used to matter to me.

I gained weight at the beginning of my second semester and went up a jean size, so half of my summer wardrobe just doesn't fit me anymore, and it's made me feel embarrassed. I went from a size 6 to an 8/10, and while it doesn't seem like a big jump to the average person, it was to me. I don't like looking in the mirror and seeing a bigger pooch than usual, or how my thighs have gotten super irritated because they also got bigger. Chaffing I used to only have in the summer occurred in late January and even scared my inner thighs. It's not cute and it hurts when it flares up. I am terrified to wear my bikinis again because I know they won't fit, and the second I put on shorts my thighs are going to want to kill me if I don't kill them first.

I came to really love my body last summer after struggling through a rough breakup where I stopped caring about myself. I owned myself last summer and as much as I want to again this summer, I'm really struggling with the idea of it.

All I feel like I see on social media are skinny girls with zero hint of a pooch or thick thighs in sight. I've never been a skinny girl and I never want to be, but I can't help but envy the people I've seen online and in person. Of course, what I see on social media isn't really accurate, but it's still been tough to look at these girls who seem like they don't have a care in the world. They can eat whatever they want and still look flawless. They can throw on a bikini and not have to feel like they need to suck everything in so no one sees their pooch hanging over their bikini bottom. As a stress eater who is still too terrified to try on her bikinis, I'm not looking forward to showing my body off when all I want to do sometimes is hide it because I don't feel happy with what I see.

I will always love being a curvier girl and YouTubers like Sierra Schultzzie, Carrie Dayton, and Lucy Wood have given me a new boost of inspiration to embrace the body I have right now. I'm not skinny but I'm not plus sized either. I feel pressure from myself and certain people in my life to be skinnier and not "let myself go." I

'm so happy to have friends who have helped me through my struggles and support me, even when I don't want to support myself. These YouTuber's have opened my eyes to the fact that this body deserves to be loved just as much as my former, smaller body.

I want to love myself with 100% of my being and I hate how much hatred I've allowed to go on inside of me. There is only one me and I need to be proud of her. Maybe she gained some weight and isn't what society expects from a girl, but she's still amazing and has so much to offer.

I wish I could see more girls like me on YouTube or social media offering a representation of my body type, which I hardly ever see. Aerie and American Eagle have done a fantastic job of including different body types and it's been a great help in seeing that they really to make clothes for all types of women, not just a size zero to two. Added representation really does wonders for someone suffering from low body confidence like me.

While I hope to begin my journey into losing a few pounds this summer by jogging whenever I get the chance, I'm not going to put intense pressure on myself to look a certain way. I am single for the summer and exploring life with my best friends by my side. I'm here to be the best version of me that I can. I cannot let negative thoughts about myself to dictate how I feel every day. I am strong, I am beautiful, and I need to love myself and my body as I am.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

11 Things You NEVER Say To A College Girl Trying To Get Into Shape

Just never talk about a person's weight.


When my family and friends joked that I was going to gain 15 pounds in my freshman year of college as a result of the "Freshman 15," I thought it was what it was supposed to be: a joke. However, as the year has come to an end, I realized that I actually did put on a couple of pounds, albeit it wasn't the predicted 15.

As I told those that I wanted to get into an ideal shape for my body, I was met with some insensitive and ignorant remarks. Everyone thought that I mean just losing the weight I had put on.

1. "You walk to all of your classes, why aren't you losing weight that way?"

My legs are more toned than they ever have been before. However, most of the weight I have been gaining has gone directly to my gut (annoying!) and walking does not remedy that. Unfortunately, I have to stick to ab workouts.

2. "But you look fine to me!"

I don't feel healthy to myself. I'm not trying to stay in shape for anyone else, just myself, thanks. I appreciate you trying to make me feel better about my body image but I know something has to be done.

3. "I didn't gain any weight in college."

Good for you. I did. I'm trying to do something about it.

4. "Just stop drinking."

I don't drink. Really, the only liquid I consume is water or iced tea. I don't like soda and alcohol makes me nauseous way too easily.

5. "Isn't the gym free on campus for students?"

Yes, but some people don't like working out in front of others. I am one of those people. My friend lives in an apartment complex that has their own gym and almost no one is ever there but not everyone has that luxury. Also, some are busy and do not have time for a quick jog or to stretch.

6. "You should try this diet/pills/exercise routine."

I am thankful that you are trying to help but my diet is just eating healthy and having a few cheat days in between. I know what exercises work best for me and I am just not taking pills. Bodies adjust differently.

7. "Don't starve/force yourself to throw up."

Trust me, I know. I'm trying to lose the weight healthily. If you do find yourself practicing unhealthy eating habits or realizing your body image is deteriorating, the NEDA Hotline is (800) 931-2237. Please reach out if you are going through hardships.

8. "Won't you have to buy a whole new wardrobe?"

If I drop (or even add) a size or two. We grow out and grow tired of clothes on the regular, what's the difference if you have to buy some because of a weight change? Plus, who doesn't love buying new clothes?

9. "Just eat healthier."

Didn't think of it! Options are limited at college where the dining halls don't offer all that much that is actually good for your body. Now that I'm at home, it's easier. But I'm already trying to eat healthy.

10. "You've evened out since the last time I saw you!"

This is code for you've put on some weight. I hear it mostly from older relatives because my friends will flat out tell me if I've gotten a little chunky.

11. "You're just stressed."

Personally, this one gets me livid. I do admit that when I am stressed or anxious, I do turn to food for comfort but when I am delighted and genuinely happy, will my body magically revert into a fit state?

Sadly, no.

Honestly, I am just trying to get my body back into shape. For me, that means cutting back on greasy foods and kicking a bad habit of sitting on my butt all day. For others, it could mean more or less. As long as your body is in good physical condition and you are content, the number on the scale and others' thoughts shouldn't matter. Take care of yourself.

Related Content

Facebook Comments