Heading into college, I knew exactly what I was going to do with my education – study biology and later, become a veterinarian. That was the plan. It’s always been the plan. However, I also knew what I wanted to do with that time – study creative writing and classics. Therein lies the rub. The two tracks I wanted to take were close to polar opposites on the imaginary academic spectrum that I’m making up for this article.
Now do you see how real the struggle is?
Due to this conflict, my experience and development at Kalamazoo College (aka, “K College” or “K”) has largely been focused on reconciling those two categories of interests that I want to indulge.
During my first year, I started taking intro science classes, and I got my fix of rhyme scheme and Roman marble from a creative writing class and a Roman art class, respectively, during Winter term. The most gratifying experience I’ve ever had was developing my writing skills and enjoying using them to write stories and poems that other people actually liked. I even started to think differently. It was as if my mind finally started working the way it should and my wandering thoughts started to come together to form characters and events that could become stories. Dillon, another author for the Odyssey at K, got it right when they wrote, “Even when I'm not actively writing, my mind is.”
What if I gave squirrels super powers? Would they use them for good or evil?
On top of that, examining the intricacies of the Ancient Roman lifestyle and how they developed into the world’s greatest empire only served to push me deeper into classics. However, it seemed that when my newest idea was finally becoming clear enough to build into a story or whenever I wanted to learn about the preserved art of Pompeii, biology and chemistry classes were nothing but time-consuming, uninteresting sources of stress. Writing, on the other hand, gave me a way to manifest my thoughts and emotions, and it gave me something to bond over with this really cool acapella-singing girl from the other creative writing class.
At that point, I thought about quitting science and scrapping the plan. It didn’t seem worth the struggle to learn it anymore. Then, strangely enough, fear is what kept me in lab goggles. When I say “fear”, I mean my fear of the job market and my potential standing in it. Although a bit pessimistic, I feel as though I was taught that the job market and “Adult World” are the Great Dream Killers. There is a dismal demand for rock stars, cowboys and writers in the real world, but there will always be a need for those who practice medicine. On top of that, almost every single adult around me had the lines, “Study hard, get a good education, get a good job” and “Study to be a ____ so you don’t end up like me” on hand at all times. I’ve always had big aspirations and I know that a stable job with good pay is the safest, best way to achieve them. Plus, who wouldn’t want to save puppies? So, when I was in high school, I solidified my aspirations of being a vet and decided to put everything else on the side.
How can I, in good conscience, let this thing be sick?
Luckily, this fear stuck me in my science classes until I could learn to love them. As of now, I have a renewed interest in biology and a general disdain for studying chemistry (primarily organic chem- sorry Dr. Williams). However, after putting everything into perspective a bit, I’ve decided to stay on the pre-vet track for a whole host of legitimate reasons. Still, I find myself often saying that science has “taken over my life” because, other than study abroad, every class that I will take from now on is for a pre-vet prerequisite. Although I wish I could spend more time writing stories or poems and studying the gods of civilizations past, I’m starting to realize that vet medicine could be my new passion. I’m in a privileged situation where I can study to have a great job and still express the author in me when I can. It’s funny, too: next week, I’m supposed to declare my major, but I feel like I’ve been declared since Day One.
