Before the countless censors descend upon me, let me just say that I use "fuck" a lot. I use it more than a lot. Hell, I just happen to swear a great deal, so it's fair to say I'm one profane guy. Just because I have a mouth that could make a sailor blush, however, doesn't mean I can't throw down with some really eloquent individuals. I wax pretty damn poetically when the mood strikes.
But my focus this week isn't about my profane proclivities. It's about the the F-word. It's about the word's use and even its celebration. It's about why I so easily embrace the word. Rather than simply tell you I like and approve of the word, I'd rather showcase a few examples of why I feel the way I do about the granddaddy of all profane words:
1. Stubbing your toe
Immediately after stubbing your toe, there's no God, no force, and no medicine (real of fake) that can offer the succor that screaming "Fuck" can (and does). Seriously, just give it a whirl and bellow one out next time you slam your toe into pretty much anything.
2. Missing an important exam
This instance requires multiple utterances. From waking up late to realizing that no matter who fast you drive, stress levels just prompt the fricatively charged expletive. And if you say they don't, then you're a better person than me. Not that I give a fuck.
3. Remembering Trump is president
That's right, Morgan. I feel the same fuckin' way.
4. Credit Card Declining
Whatever the reason, my first initial reaction to my credit card being declined is "fuck." Might not let it slip past my lips all the time, but it's permissible in my book.
5. No cash on hand
If not when the card was declined, realizing that I have no paper currency with which to cover the cost of my purchase. Fuck is all I can say during those moments. Well, that and fight back the occasional tears.
6. When asked to babysit
More often that not it's my sisters that ask me. And more often than not, I'll say yes. I don't enjoy being responsible for children. I loathe watching children, honestly, but I know I'll do it when asked directly. Of course, "I will do it" is not my initial response. You guessed it. It's an F bomb with the heat and anger of a nuclear warhead.
7. Finding out good news
"Fucking A" is highly appropriate when you receive some good news. Such was the case after I was offered a promotion at work recently. I waited until I got off the phone with my future boss, of course, but I spoke the words with an almost reverent exasperation.
8. Finding out less-good news
Favorite new show cancelled? Fuck. Car needs an expensive repair? Fuck! Parent has another cancer scare? Fuuuuuuuuuuck! Severity can dictate the word and its derivative usage, but fuck is totally my go-to word.
9. Spilling beer/wine
Spilling any amount or any variety of the Devil's Nectar can draw forth the F word from even the most conservative of mouths, but the idea of spilling - hence, wasting - good beer is too painful to consider. Fuck should be used liberally here, in my opinion.
10. Cops following you
Whether I'm doing something wrong or not, this one typically evokes a series of "fuck" and a number of derivatives. Example: "FUCK! FUCKING FUCK! FUCK, FUCKITY FUCK-FUCK-FUCK!"
11. Whenever you want to say it
Go ahead and let it out for fuck's sake. When people give you looks and reprimand you, ask them what's the big fuckin' deal? It's just a fucking word. It makes for one hell of an interjection. It's not like dropping excessive F bombs is a measure of your character. It's not as God from heaven above will open the clouds and strike you down for allowing fuck to pass your lips. There's no fundamental natural law upset by its use.
Why do I use it? Because I like the word. Because it rolls of the tongue. Because it rolls off the tongue and I have no desire to change my behavior. A myriad number of documents and other forms of correspondence stand as testimony to my ability to effectively communication and convey emotion in what more prudish individuals consider proper and mature writing. Yet, I find no problem allowing my ingrained habit of using the F word to remain right where it is.
With my thoughts apparent, what's your opinion on the topic? Are you prone to dropping the F bombs or not so much? Do you view its use indicative of an immature mind or a potentially more trustworthy individual?
