It is with a heavy heart that I break this news to my friends here at Huntington University, back home, and my family as well. I want to use this article as a way to explain why I made this decision, to the best of my ability (some things are better left off the internet). I am not looking for sympathy, but feel as though this is necessary. I prefer to leave everyone with an explanation, rather than disappearing and leaving everyone in the dark.
Now, to begin I have to talk a little bit about the end of this past school year. I had a lot of "friendshits" happen. That's my choice word, because really they were friendships that turned to crap (You can read more about this here: My Fears of Sophomore Year). I was unsure of returning to Huntington in the fall, but decided to use this semester as a test to determine if I would finish my college career here or not.
I had decided to go into this year with the mindset that this year was about school, and I was not here to socialize. I might be an introvert (a hella introvert) but I still need my people time, so that was already very difficult on me. There were some situations that felt me feeling unwanted, on top of my preexisting depression, that made the start of my school year a bit more difficult than it should have been.
There are a few things that happened outside of school, just in my life, that I'd prefer to keep silent about for now and maybe one day write an article about (no guarantee. This is not a promise). There was just a lot of life-happenings, and it was a bit overwhelming in and of its self, and only worsened when school work was added on top of it.
This is when I began to consider, once again, withdrawing at the end of the semester and transferring in the spring. I talked to my parents about it, and a few close friends, and it seemed like the best course of action. As the weeks went on I noticed some unhealthy changes in my. My pits of depression were getting worse, and getting harder to get out of. My anxiety was heightened, and overall I was feeling pretty low, and kind of horrible in most regards.
I fell behind in a couple classes, which only made those feelings of failure become stronger and more prominent. I started to think about withdrawing right then and there, but I knew my parents wouldn't be the happiest. My mother actually called a couple days ago, to talk about me withdrawing from a class I was really struggling in, and on that phone call I lost it. I broke down completely and that's when I realized it was truly best for me to take a step back from school.
Of course, I'm not leaving Huntington blindly. I have living arrangements set up, a job interview in the process of being set up, and a plan of action for the next coming months. I don't plan on returning to HU next semester, or anytime in the near future (if ever). Once I leave here I will be focusing on myself. I need a job, so I can stop worrying are stupid financial things (like gas money) and can begin really setting aside for the future. My hope is to be attending International Business College, in Indianapolis, as a major in graphic design*.
I hope that this article has helped explain to everyone why I have made this choice, even if most people would rather me stay. This is something I feel is necessary for my health and well-being, and something I fully believe will be better for me in the long run.
*My hope is to be at IBC in the spring, but if something prevents that from happening and pushes it back to the fall that is okay as well. While I do have a "schedule" I would like to stick to, I'm doing my best not to fight life right now.