I spent my freshman year at Georgia College in Milledgeville, Georgia. After transferring elsewhere and earning my bachelor's, I came back for grad school. While I was gone, I missed a lot. For example, we have a huge new wellness and recreation center, or WRC.
This 105,000-square foot building is nothing short of gorgeous. It looks like it was built yesterday. Featuring health and counseling services, basketball courts, a lap pool, pristine locker rooms, traditional fitness weight and cardio equipment, and much more. It also has a dress code.
At first, I was shocked that a college fitness center would have a dress code. I realize that for most students, this is old news; as the new kid in town, I found the code ridiculous. But after further examining the WRC User Policy Manual, I now understand why one is necessary. Allow me to enlighten you.
1. Shoulders Are Highly Inappropriate
As stated in the WRC policy manual: sleeveless shirts of any kind, [and] hoop-neck/off-the-shoulder shirts [...] are not permitted."
According to WebMD, the shoulder is "one of the largest and most complex joints in the body [...] formed where the humerus (upper arm bone) fits into the scapula (shoulder blade), like a ball and socket." I don't know about you, but that makes me intensely uncomfortable. They say that marijuana is the gateway drug, meaning that users of marijuana are more likely to user other, harder drugs, such as heroin and meth. What they don't tell you is that shoulders are the gateway joints. While you may think that the shoulder is a joint just like any other joint, allowing nothing but movement and providing strength and support, do not be fooled: shoulders are the gateway joints. Once someone sees your shoulder, there's really no telling what other body parts they might want to see.
2. There Is Safety In Numbers
"[...] exceptions are [...] in group fitness classes, and during official Rec Sports competitions."
Y'all, if you're going to pull out your shoulders in public--just writing that gave me palpitations--do so in a controlled environment, like a class, or a competition with an audience that can help control the riots which may ensue.
3. Just Keep Swimming
If you really feel the need to show some skin, pull on a swimsuit (good luck) and dive right into the lap pool. The straps will dig into your shoulders, reminding you that the opportunity to show them off is truly a privilege. If you are in the weight room, which overlooks the lap pool, please try not to be distracted by bodies barely contained by swimsuits that would be more comfortable on a toddler.
4. If You Don't Know What's Appropriate, We'll Tell You
"WRC reserves the right to determine the acceptability of all exercise attire [...] Shoes, shirts, and shorts/pants appropriate for exercise must be worn at all times."
Please ignore the fact that when you Google "workout clothes," the following appears:
As you can see, most of the women pictures are wearing strapless shirts, including sports bras and the ever-popular racerback tank. These images fail to pay homage to men, who also go to the gym, and thus cannot be considered an accurate representation of what anyone wears to the gym. The WRC knows what is appropriate for exercise, and it doesn't include the ten exercise tanks you just bought.
5. No One Wants To Know About Your Body Parts
"Appropriate support and undergarments are required at all times."
We all know that running on the treadmill hardly keeps things in place, and quite frankly, we don't want to know that you, a young adult, possess certain body parts. The slightest movement of a boob on an elliptical is highly distracting and may encourage onlookers to spend more time at the gym. Men, please wear compression shorts under your gym shorts, which must be knee-length. If you are particularly well-endowed, a jock strap may also be required; we don't need you tripping and breaking our new treadmill.
6. This Is About Academics
These rules were written for your own good. At the gym, you need to focus. The slightest tilt of a bar or misstep of a foot could result in life-wrecking injury. How will you make it to your Chem final if some extra skin at the gym makes you fall and break your face? While you may wear whatever you want to your air-conditioned classes exercise was intended to make you sweat, and the WRC will make sure your cotton t-shirt bakes you like an oven.
Keep in mind that, as written in the policy manual introduction, "the expectation of users is to uphold the core GC values of Reason, Respect, Responsibility." Additionally, "user cooperation is expected to create a friendly and positive environment[.]" Thus, while some of these rules may seem ridiculous, remember that they exist to uphold these values.
