You took a gulp from your beverage,

Hoping the alcohol could somehow cleanse the pain my words inflicted,

You act as if I announced something horrendous,

Your first guesses were I was pregnant or I was quitting school,

Neither of which is what I even said to you, but that’s apparently what it felt like,

I was not going to pursue nutrition anymore, but instead writing,

Your look of disapproval was at first your only answer to me,

Brows were furrowed, and your mouth was set in a grim line,

Then you were quick to tell me how I wouldn’t succeed,

I would have a hard time getting a job and would regret this decision,

It was going to be expensive, and you and dad weren’t going to be able to help me,

You showed me so much support when I went to culinary school, same when I chose nutrition,

So why was it different all of a sudden?

Always told me how smart I am, and if I put effort forth I can accomplish anything,

Where was that mother that supported me through high school and college?

Why were you now so indignant and unhappy with my goals?

You can’t just do that to me, I have always tried to gain your approval,

I was always the good child, I obeyed you, I didn’t put up a fuss when following every rule,

But I seemed to screw up most of the time in your eyes,

Nothing I did never seemed to be good enough,

I’m trying so hard to make you proud, but all you find is my obvious flaws,

Didn’t hesitate to prove to me you were right,

When I climbed that spiral staircase in the backyard to spite you,

You told me to stay away from it, that it was dangerous,

I fell earthbound, mind going as dark as that staircase,

You were right,

Don’t horse around in the house you told my brothers and I,

Evan and I were having a pillow fight in the livingroom,

I knocked over the glass lamp and cut up my feet,

I remember hiding in the bathroom putting bandaids all over my feet while crying,

You were right,

I dated my ex for about a year long distance,

I would go up to Boston and visit his dorm once a month,

You would say it wasn’t going to work out because of the age gap and I haven’t met his parents,

He cheated on me multiple times over our relationship,

No hesitation to push me aside when he thought something better appeared,

You were right,

When I dated my recent ex of three years,

Dad and you constantly nagged me about my hard future with him,

How he was overly clingy, his family was dysfunctional, and he held no job,

After things fell apart around me, I must have been in denial,

To not see this relationship was pretty much over, that my patience was done,

You told me you couldn’t believe how long it lasted,

The life span of the relationship should have only been a year at most,

It should have been obvious to me how miserable I was,

You were right,

One thing after another gets shoved into my face of your wisdom,

I don’t want this to be another thing that proves you better,

I want to show you I’m serious about this,

Strive for something I want to do for once,

Why does my happiness not mean as much as my education to you?

This is something I seriously feel passionate about, and want to succeed doing,

Of course I want your support because you had and raised me, you loved me,

I hope you’ll see the effort and determination,

Eventually regret the cruel words you said to me that night,

But I can’t wait for you to come to terms,

I’m going to take the necessary steps to my chosen future,

Until then, here’s a drink to dull your anxiousness for me,

Cheers mom, to your disappointment.