Group projects — Please tell me how much you hate them.

Everyone knows what comes to mind when the phrase "group project" is uttered in class: "I know exactly who I'm not working with..."

You also scan the room, hoping to make eye contact with those individuals you best mesh with in terms of group work. If they've already found their cohorts, you silently curse and hope to find the next best option. *More eye scanning and shy smiles* It's like dating... but for A's and the least amount of headaches.

Why do I know all this? Because you see, I am a Communication major, which if you did not know, defines the major by "painful group work." Total jokes. It isn't all that bad... kind of.

However, group work is required of Communication majors... frequently. Because we're supposed to be learning how to communicate with one another, DUH! Seriously, though, group projects occur often, so learning how to tackle them early is useful in so many aspects — for the project itself, for your sanity, etc. etc.

If you really want me to get all lecture-y on you, group work is a requirement of life.

As much as we like to work alone or think that only we, meaning you, are the only person capable of the best work, we must understand that working with others is not optional. We don't get to click a button each year reading, "WORK ALONE 365 DAYS, 24 HOURS A DAY." That would be nice though, right?

Group work and interaction is human responsibility. It has been since the beginning of time (like when hunters did the hunting and the gatherers gathered all the necessary supplies). Group work goes waaaaaaay back, and I don't see it changing very soon unless robots remain a thing. Then, we might just have super robots everywhere, becoming humans' buddies, but that is beside the point. Also, you might be able to avoid interaction if you're a professional dog walker, but then you have to interact with cute, fluffy doggies, and I sincerely hope you're capable of that. I mean c'mon what's not to love about this face?

So now that I've digressed a ton, let me get to the main point of my article:

Group work may be the bane of your existence, but it's a requirement of life. It's probably best that you find some humor in your cohorts. Second, contrary to that first statement, some people really enjoy group work. They understand it can be messy (kinda like a baby eating spaghetti) but with a little help, lots of laughs and productivity, it's not so bad!

Also, let me list the most common group members I've come across, like I promised — since, you know, that's the title of my article and probably why you decided to read this in the first place. Ha Ha. Gotcha. You thought I was going to immediately sympathize with your disdain for group work. I'm full of surprises.

GROUP PROJECT MEMBERS (listed in no particular order):

1. The Sought After

This is the person who takes the entire project on. See adjectives: organized, focused, dependable, timely and particular. This person really kicks butt. They know what needs to be accomplished (or, at least, have the syllabus on hand), and they get the group on task. These people are frequently sought after for group projects because they're known to get stuff done. They also resent that fact on occasion, but at the end of the day, they like knowing they are reliable and trustworthy. They also don't believe anyone else can sufficiently get the job done, so they take on the role as leader. They will occasionally come off as too serious, boring, and no fun... or they can be the perfect group member.

2. The Distraction

This person directly goes against the goals of The Sought After. They like to make jokes, gossip, ask irrelevant questions and do everything but the actual assignment. The Sought After will be dreading every moment with this person because they want to scold The Distraction for their lack of focus and the amount of time they are taking up. However, The Sought After stays quiet because they know The Distraction is making the project less work oriented and maybe... do I dare say it? Fun? Yes. The Distraction can make the project fun. They may also make group meetings longer than necessary, but you're just thankful they decided to show up to the meeting at all.

3. The two people who have not-so-secret chemistry. For time's sake, let's call them The Flirts.

These people are always making eye contact with each other, and everyone in the group notices but never says a word. They may also laugh at each other's corny attempts to be funny and cheesy jokes about the project itself. They are distracting, but because they are trying to impress each other, they attempt to get some work done. They also always seem to have their own conversation going on, and no one else is really clued in. Listen for, "What are you doing this weekend?" Sometimes, this phrase hints at who The Flirts are. They're also either very agreeable with each other, or they completely disagree about everything, purposefully. They have playful arguments about everything, whilst the other group members awkwardly watch. If they do agree, at least you're coming to a partial group decision. Be thankful for that!

4. The Person Who Looks Like He/She Is Doing Something.

This person may be mistaken for the The Sought After. They agree with everything The Sought After says. They may even add their own twist at the end. Many times, the twist is not helpful; however, most group members do not realize it. The group is simply satisfied that someone is suggesting something. This person will ask questions to make it seem like they're doing something productive, but they never do any of the actual work. You have to pay very close attention to these individuals because they can sneak up on you. They seem like a safe decision at the time, but soon, you see that they're really just on Facebook instead of searching up ideas for the project.

5. The Person Who Does Not Help At All, Does Not Make An Attempt To Look Like He/She Is Helping, Falls Off The Face Of The Earth, And You're Wondering If He/She Still Even Goes To Your School

I can't shorten this one. This person does not answer your texts, emails, phone calls or even pleas for help with the project. They do not seem to care how the project turns out, what their grade is or if they are liked by the other group members. There is no effort on this person's part. It's comical to the other group members and may bring these members together. It's also slightly disturbing how little care this person has for other peoples' time. How does this person sleep at night? Beyond me. If, big if, they do show up, they do not do anything. They sit on their phone. They ask questions you've already answered for The Distraction. They are no help at all. You're anticipating the moment you get to evaluate their effort because you're going to give them a big, stinky F (or so you hope). You complain about this person to every member in your group, your friends, your significant other, your mom and anyone who mentions class work because you're so perplexed as to how one person can ignore basic responsibilities. You also frequently wonder how this person got through college so far. You really hope they do not figure out that it was you who gave them a bad evaluation, even though you know each member of the group did. You want to like this person, because you're forgiving, but it is just too hard.

Also, be on the lookout for these other key players in your classroom: The Professor, who assigned the dang group project in the first place. The Other Groups Who Look Like They Have It All Together, and you're very jealous. And the Groups Who Are Clearly Going To Have A Hard Time Pulling It Together.

If there's any I missed, feel free to share them below — just don't put names for heaven's sake. Secretly, we all know people who fit these descriptions.

And finally, don't take this so seriously. Jokes, people, jokes. I have worked in wonderful groups, where we got work done efficiently and still had fun. They're seldom, but they do exist.