The Double-Edged Sword Of Divorce
Relationships

The Double-Edged Sword Of Divorce

If one more person comments on my two Christmases, Thanksgivings, etc...

54
The Double-Edged Sword Of Divorce

“But you get to have two Christmases!” Waking up to double the tacky wrapping paper doesn’t necessarily outweigh the perplexities of growing up in two different worlds: Mom’s and Dad’s. Divorce complicates life and morphs you into a Hannah Montana. If you’re a child of divorced parents, then you know the double-edged sword all too well.

You’re most likely a nomad, or a least a little nomadic.

Well, aren’t you the traveler? Always having your duffle bag ready to head to either Mom’s or Dad’s every other week or so. There’s no permanent abode; it’s always just a temporary stop before you pack your suitcase and head to house A or B. Even if your parents don’t have split custody, I bet you still hang at Mom’s some nights or stay for dinner at Dad’s on others. The constant back-and-forth gets exhausting after a while. You leave a textbook at Dad’s when you’re at Mom’s, and the next day you have to explain to your teacher why your homework isn’t done. You want to show off your brand new outfit but remember the shopping bag is in Mom's car trunk. You start to keep your belongings in your suitcase, not even bothering to deal with the hassle of unpacking when you’re just going to have to repack in a couple of days. Heading to friends’ houses is a breeze, though; you’re an expert at speedily putting together your sleepover bag and you know just what to pack.

You feel like the pawn in a game of chess.

“Your father is an absolute jerk! Don’t listen to him!”

“Your mother has no idea what she’s talking about, she’s a lunatic! Don’t let her brainwash you!”

Whose side are you on? It feels like you always have to pick: Team Mom or Team Dad. I long to just be on Team Switzerland (go read Twilight). No matter who is in the right nor who is in the wrong, picking one parent over the other seems almost impossible. You love both of them, and taking a side would inevitably upset at least one party. It’s a constant battle, mom versus dad, who can best play their child against the other parent and win over their love and affection. Please, for the love of God/Buddha/etc., don’t make us choose!

You’re often the mediator.

You are the middle ground, the referee, the judge in court, the peacemaker. Most of the time, you feel like the parental figure of the family rather than the child. You hear both sides of the argument, no matter how absurd. This morphs you into quite the listener, and also the mediator. I mean, what kid doesn’t want to keep the peace in the family? These fights can get ugly, but with your charming ability to consider both sides equally and assess them fairly, working out a solution becomes second nature. This is especially helpful when your friends strike up arguments- you can always patch up the hole.

You watch your parents deal with post-divorce struggles.

My mom was a stay-at-home mom. After the divorce, you can imagine how much of a burden certain financial obligations became for her. Adjusting to a new lifestyle is incredibly difficult, not just for the child whose parents just got a divorce, but for the divorcees who suddenly fall into the single-parent pit. Everything, and I mean everything is affected. Signatures are exhausted onto legal documents and you start to see how ink can move mountains. Financial circumstances change because bills are no longer handled with a combined income. Possession of assets vary; Dad keeps the house and Mom keeps the car, and they always resent handing over the keys. Wedding rings are pawned either to erase memories or just to grab some easy cash. Match.com notifications fill up inboxes and every Friday night Mom asks, “How do I look?” before she meets her online charmer who more than half the time turns out to be an oddball (*creates new account on Christian Mingle*).

You watch your parents heal and grow.

Aside from all the adversity divorce causes, there’s always at least a little light at the end of the tunnel. That light is seeing how every day becomes easier to handle for not only yourself but for your parents. The pain of the breakup slowly subsides and their smiles begin to become bigger and more frequent. Sometimes, they’re even lucky enough to find love again with other people. You might not always like their “sweet little honey muffin,” but the sparkle in their eyes when they tell you all about them always convinces you to reconsider. They repair themselves of the emotional breakage and become stronger having gone through such a hardship, and so do you.

I hope I could relate to my fellow children of divorce. I know it isn’t easy, not the slightest bit. However, you mustn’t forget to see the good that results from it, even if it seems miniscule and smothered by the bad. It's there, you just have to look on the other edge of the sword.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Swoon

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B just dropped the hottest summer single yet. It's called "WAP" and we're going to get into all the intoxicating lyrics.

This song empowers females and their sexuality. These women put the ridiculous music industry female beef to bed, and I mean tucked away in a coma.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

How To Write Down The Holy Grail Recipe Everyone Begs You To Make

Because everyone has a signature cocktail, cake, or pasta they bring to every potluck.

NBC

From back when I used to bring my mom's classic white chocolate chip cookies to preschool on my birthday to now stirring up my signature tequila cocktails at every friends' barbecue, I've always had a couple of standby recipes in my culinary rotation.

Keep Reading... Show less
Adulting

Meet My Cat: Cheshire, The Stray Turned House Cat Who Lives in Michigan

I never considered myself a cat person, but Chess immediately stole my heart.

Madelyn Darbonne

In 2016, a stray cat gave birth to a litter of three grey kittens on my aunt and uncle's property. I had never considered myself to be much of a cat person, but these furballs immediately stole my heart. I got to watch them grow up until they were old enough to leave their mother's side.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

How To Binge-Watch A TV Show —And Then Write A Review About It

Writing your favorite and least favorite things about a show could not be more fun.

Photo by Mollie Sivaram on Unsplash

Looking for a new show to binge? Stop scrolling through your options and listen.

Sometimes a good show doesn't come down to the genre or the actors involved, it comes down to the fact that it is simply a GOOD show. If any of these things sound appealing to you, you should definitely watch.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

11 Reasons Why Getting A Cat Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Mental Health

Cats may mess up your puzzles but they'll always love you unconditionally — as long as you have some catnip, that is.

Scout Guarino

Alright, everyone, it's time to stop spreading the rumor that all cats are mean, aloof, and hate everyone. Like dogs, each cat has its own personality and tendencies. Some like a lot of attention, some like less — each person has to find the right cat for them. As for me, my cats Bienfu and Reptar have seen me at my worst, but they've also helped pull me out of it. They're a constant in my life and they give me the strength to get through the day in spite of my depression, and there's even scientific evidence to support it!

Keep Reading... Show less

I've been bleaching my hair since I was in seventh grade. Yes, you read that correctly, seventh grade. That's nearly 10 years of maintaining a very light shade of blonde that too-often brings about dryness and brittle strands.

Keep Reading... Show less

Chances are if you're here, you're probably interested in writing an open letter. Yay! We're excited to have you.

Of course, not all open letters are created equal. In fact, there's a recipe to writing one for Odyssey that'll get featured on one of our many verticals. When it comes to Swoon specifically (for those new around here, that's our dating and relationships vertical), we receive dozens of open letters each month, many of which are all very similar.

Keep Reading... Show less

With a new phone comes great responsibility: Do not break it! And the best way to do that is with a case. However, picking a case can be a challenge. No need to fret, I am here to help break down some of the best cases for the new iPhone SE 2020. Honestly, I think it's going to be impossible to choose!

Keep Reading... Show less

To some who have been out of the dating world for a while, it can be hard to get back into the swing of things after being single for some time. So, I asked 26 people what they think is important to know before looking for love again, here's what they had to say.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments