Ever since Adam and Eve got kicked out of the Garden of Eden, pity parties have been all the rage. Whatever special occasion you find to give excuse for your party, whether it is losing loved ones, getting fired from a job, going through a difficult illness, experiencing a breakup, moving towns, changing friendship dynamics and experiencing painful change in general, here is the best, top 10, time-honored wisdom from the best event planners on how to throw the season's best pity party.
1. Don't invite whiny or selfish people.
They will feed the negative vibes and bring you further down.
Do invite people who support you and whose opinion you trust and respect. Invite people who are willing to speak truth into your life. While they will be there to listen to your complaining, dry the tears from your eyes, bad talk whoever (and whatever) hurt you and offer plenty of hugs, they won't be afraid to tell you when to let it go and move on with life.
2. Don't binge on junk food.
Because then you will feel nasty, fat and unhealthy. And then you will feel bad on top of the already present pain.
Do take care of yourself. Taking the time and energy to treat your body well will help you to feel physically better, which will also help your mental outlook (But being real, sometimes you just have to eat half a pack of Oreos or the entire bag of Doritos. Just be sure it doesn't become an everyday occurrence).
3. Don't let it last until you run out of snacks.
Including the jar of stuffed olives your aunt gave you for Christmas. At that point, it's just time to give up and at least take a hiatus long enough to go to the quick mart and restock on snacks.
Do give yourself a set amount of time to mourn or throw a pity party or lay in fetal position (whatever floats your boat). Perhaps you need a week, one day or an hour and a half. But set a time limit.
4. Don't extend your time limit.
Do get up and go live your beautiful life. Sure you might still hurt, but it is time to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have an amazing life to go live, which obviously trumps hiding from the world under your afghan.
Unless it is a blanket fort, then you totally have permission to never leave. You have to defend your fort at all costs!
5. Don't turn to social media.
Think about this
one. When was the last time social media actually made you feel genuinely good
the whole time you were on the site? Or the last time that every last single
post (including the news and opinion articles)
encouraged you and put a smile on your face? Yep, that's what I thought.
Do turn to trusted sources of encouragement. Try best friends who give tough love, or mothers who love you no matter what. Time spent in the Bible or in prayer is also golden (oh also, fathers with a silly sense of humor work as well).
6. Don't listen to sad songs.
No matter how convinced you are that you are done crying, that one sad song will always get the waterworks started all over again. Not. Worth. It.
Do listen to your best "I am strong and wonderful" power anthem on full blast in repeat until you want to puke if you have to hear it one more time (unless of course, that sad song actually makes you feel better and you don't have to ugly cry every time you hear it).
You're in the shower; no one can hear you anyway, so belt it out.
7. Don't hold all of your emotions inside.
We know that you are an emotional fortress. Or an island and a rock, if you happen to be Simon and Garfunkel. But emotions that aren't dealt with become very ugly and funky with time. Plus, nobody expects you to be happy all the time anyway.
Do let yourself cry. I know, tears are seen as a sign of weakness. Plus, who looks good when they are having snot, tears and saliva flying everywhere while they sound like they are hyperventilating? But really, though, crying helps us heal and feel better.
Even Taylor Swift approves ugly crying.
8. Don't take your emotions out on everybody.
Look, we are at a party for pity's sake! We came to have fun not to be target practice.
Do handle your emotions. It is OK to hurt and to feel pain. It is OK to recognize anger, disappointment, sadness and the whole nine yards. But (sadly enough) this isn't an excuse to treat people poorly. Handling your emotions as they come up is a good way to deal with them before you start practicing your target shooting.
9. Don't beat yourself up.
This is why sports stores sell punching bags, just by the way.
Do accept the grace you have been offered. We are all human and mess up. We hurt others and let down our guards to be hurt by others. It happens, and it doesn't feel good. But grace has been offered in the midst of our struggle; refusing it would be worse than refusing your great aunt's pasta salad at the family reunion.
10. Don't become a hard-boiled egg.
Do become a potato. You know that quote? "The same boiling water that hardens the egg softens the potato." The takeaway: When you go through struggles in life, do not allow them to make you hard toward other people, God and love. Rather allow it to make yourself soft to the words and work of God, to the people currently in your life and to the people who will come into your life. Plus, potatoes can be attractive...
Have you ever seen a more charming couple? Case in point.
So there you have it, 10 do's and don’ts to help you throw the best pity party ever! I wish you the best of luck, and please be sure to invite me; I will be bringing the giant bag of Reese's pieces and the box of tissues.
