This week, I was talking to a friend about our freshman year of college. We talked about stupid things we did and the people we used to hang out with and we realized something: Out of our entire friend group from our freshman year, the two of us are the only ones who are still friends.

Every year, one of our friends just dropped out of our group until it was just the two of us. And, if I’m being honest, I don’t want to relive those days.

We had a lot of fun hanging out in our dorm rooms; going out on the town; having one of your friends knocking on your door and then running all around the fourth, third, and second floors of our residence hall with a bow and arrow in search of your wayward roommate and shooting her with said bow and arrows when we finally found her; surprise parties, and more.

But I would never go back to those days.

The reason is that I like myself better now than I did back then. Back then we were all on our own for the first time and trying to figure out who we were and after three years we all have some form of idea now. I am a lot more confident and self-assured than I was back then and developed my own sense of style that suits me. I’ve listened to bands I never thought I would listen to, gone to concerts I never thought I would go to, makeup styles I never thought I would try, and TV shows I never thought I would watch.

And my friends from that year learned more about themselves as well and unfortunately, we realized we didn’t fit into each other’s lives anymore. We grew up and out of those friendships like we did after we graduated high school, but that is not a bad thing. The people who stuck around are the types of friendships that last forever.

So I would rather live in the present with the friends I have and the person I am now than I would in the past as the person I was then and the people I hung out with.